Holiday Catch Up with Deonna and Rhandyl

Rhandyl:

 Hey y'all, we're back for season two of Raising Disabled after the crazy holiday season. We're hoping everyone enjoyed all the festivities, family, food our last episode was before Thanksgiving. So a lot of things have gone on since we last chatted. What all did you guys do for Thanksgiving? Do y'all usually travel, stay home?  

Deonna:

We used to travel all the time before she got hurt, but we haven't done that really I mean everybody has been having to come to our house for every holiday since 2021 because it just was such a pain to pack it all up and we didn't know what we were doing.

So this year, finally, we actually got to go somewhere and it was really nice. We weren't having to force everybody to come here and we went to Artesia, New Mexico. That's where I'm from and it was fun. I keep telling people, the thing about this Thanksgiving was it felt normal for the first time in a long time, which was a huge deal for us.

That's awesome. Yeah. I know. I wanted that back, that warm and fuzzy holiday feeling I had, we had lost that. I wasn't even sure if that was coming back or possible really at all. But yeah, we packed it all up and went to Artesia and it's always a little scary leaving Texas because you're leaving these companies that if you had a problem, they're not going to come bail you out in another state. And so leaving the state's always a little scary for like a medical family. Yeah, it's sketchy.  It is very sketchy. Yeah. We stay in Texas a lot, but we went there and we had a lot of fun with my family.

My kids got to hang out with their cousins and. Yeah, it was fun. Our team was in the state football game. And so I got to go back and, me and Cole went to the state game together and it was so fun getting to be a part of that with him. And he wore my brother's Jersey, which was emotional because my brother passed away two years now, you know in February. Yeah, so yeah that kind of got a lot of people seeing him wear that so Yeah, but it was really good We had a lot of fun and my family's crazy, like we just have a lot of fun and are loud and this is the way it goes But we had a good time..

Rhandyl:

Were y’all there for the weekend or just a couple days?

Deonna:

I honestly don't even remember. I think we went. We weren't there a whole week. It was just like the weekend and.. No, I get that. Yeah, Dane and Allie came back early because they didn't care about watching the football game or anything. And so, me and Cole stayed that afternoon and watched the game and came back. It was good. We had a good time. What'd y'all do? 

Rhandyl:

We actually started, whenever Remi came home, when we first brought her home from the hospital, it was a week before Thanksgiving. And like you guys did in the beginning, everyone came here for Thanksgiving.

But our tradition now is we just stay home for Thanksgiving and it seems like both my family and Cole's family they do their own things and Yeah, so we don't really have a big family gathering for Thanksgiving or we have it in the last gosh like six, five or six years, but we enjoy it because we've started our own traditions. Every Thanksgiving morning my husband will start smoking the ham and he fries a turkey every year. 

But we always start out our Thanksgiving morning with mimosas. I usually prep all the sides and pies and stuff like throughout the week or the week weekend before and freeze what I can and just get everything prepared so it's not a ton of work. And we start watching Christmas movies on Thanksgiving day. I'm one of those like traditional, the tree doesn't go up until after. The past three Thanksgiving's actually our neighbors have came over 'cause they are kind of in the same boat, they don't do the big family Thanksgiving. And so they come over with their kids and the kids play and we eat so much food and we have so many leftovers that we try to give away to all the nurses and.. Oh, that's good. Everybody that comes over. Yeah. I bet they love that.

Yeah. And then we're definitely not Black Friday people, if it's not online, it's not, it's not going to happen. But our Black Friday tradition is we try to decorate for Christmas on that day and then just have Christmas movies going on and music and stuff. But yeah, so it's a pretty chill Thanksgiving around our place these years, but we do travel for Christmas.

Deonna:

Did y'all travel this year for Christmas? 

Rhandyl:

We did, it's always a toss up whether someone's sick. yeah but yeah, we traveled this year, we were able to go to Shamrock, which is where me and my husband are from. The majority of our family lives there in Shamrock, Texas. It's up in the Panhandle, and we were there for four days, and we had eight planned meals at four different locations. Oh my gosh. 

So it's a lot, we're fortunate that our families are in the same town. Christmas is, a lot of fun and a lot of fellowship, but it's also a lot of work. But. Oh, for real? Yeah. It's a lot of going and blowing and loading and unloading and but we're. Yeah, I just have to keep telling myself we're blessed to have everybody in the same town, but yeah, it's just it's a lot. But yeah, like for Christmases were incorporated in all those meals. We had four trees where we open the gifts and stuff.

Deonna:

Oh my goodness, well and traveling with all the presents..

Rhandyl:

Yeah, we have an enclosed trailer. We used to rent a U Haul trailer for Christmas, yeah. No way. And yeah, we recently this year, or last year, we got an enclosed trailer. It's a small one, but we use it. We have to use it for, especially Christmas, like getting gifts there and back, plus all of the medical equipment. It's crazy. Cause we do Santa comes to Shamrock and so sometimes Santa's gifts are really… Huge. Large, yeah yeah. It seemed like everybody had a cold, but there were no big bugs this year, like during the actual holiday, so we were fortunate for that but what did you guys do? I, think I heard through the grapevine that you guys shared more than gifts this year? 

Deonna:

We shared a lot of things, so we were supposed to go to Amarillo, which is where my husband's parents live. And it was just, it was crazy like when school was almost over, we had a really fun Christmas holiday with Allie and Cole's  school. And I was just like vegging out, watching Christmas movies and living my best life for weeks. I'm like the kind of person who decorates way before Thanksgiving. I'm one of those psychos. And so, you know, I had  all my fun doing that and everything, but. Yeah, the plan was to go up Amarillo and we had not started packing yet or anything because packing is a big ordeal with us. It takes days and days of prep and and it takes physical labor to pack up all this stuff.

And yeah. My husband was starting to get sick as that week before school, was getting out like before Christmas and I was starting to get sick and I thought, Oh man, here we go. This is not good. My husband got really sick and we weren't sure what his deal was, but he was getting really sick and I was getting less sick, but still not good.

And so I called his parents. We had sent all of our Christmas presents to Amarillo, which is about two hours away from our house. We had sent all the presents there and then we got so sick that I had to tell his family, Hey, he's too sick to help me load all of this. I can't physically load everything that needs to be loaded and pack it all by myself. 

It's impossible. And we met them halfway, got all the presents. And, oh wow, brought them home, me, Allie, and Cole. So I had strep and was taking care of the kids because we thought we were leaving town. So we gave all of our nurses like the time off we, they weren't going to go with us or anything, which, sometimes nurses do travel with us, but not this time. And we always let them off for the big holidays. 

And so, no nursing, we have to cancel everything. Dane is like super sick and a day, I think it was like. Christmas Eve, he woke up and he was thinking, I felt kind of, all right, I think we could at least go up for the day and see everybody and they all had the flu and strep too.

So it's not like we were going to give them anything new, but it was, yeah, it was just like a cesspool of germs, but we went and so it was so embarrassing. Cause we go get all the presents and then we had to load all those exact same presents back in the car and take them back. Oh wow. And so they didn't look good to begin with. I don't care about wrapping. It's not something that I've ever cared about. And so half the sacks aren't even Christmas sacks. They're like pink Mickey Mouse sacks from seven years ago. And then by the time they had made that many trips back and forth, they were horrible.

Rhandyl:

They were trashed, yeah. Oh, just trashed. Oh, yeah, I mean ours were trashed. My son could reach like three gifts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And they were shredded by the time we got there. Three hour drive. 

Deonna:

Cole, my son that's the same thing. My son knew what he was getting in two different gifts because the tissue paper was just like destroyed. But it was good. Like we went up there and just for the day, but even to travel with Allie, just for the day, when you're leaving your home base, you have to take all kinds of stuff because what if something happened and you ended up having to stay there, what if this, what if that.. We still had to, I felt bad for Dane cause he's in there packing and he's still pretty sick, but he packed all that stuff up; and it was good that we went because my kids got to see their cousins and we had a good time so.. 

Rhandyl:

Yeah, well, I'm glad I didn't know that you guys get to make the day trip. Yeah, that's good. Day trips are easier than overnight for sure, but they’re still, it’s still a lot of work, but

Deonna:

I know it's sometimes you're like, if you're going to go to that much effort, you may as well spend the night, but you have to take, it's hard. And I've done a trip without him one time, but I was feeling a hundred percent when I did that trip, like I was sick. And it was so funny because.  My husband's in there like really miserable with a fever. It was not good. And I'm like legit jealous of him that he was sicker than me, because I was the one having to do everything and take care of the kids and I was like, would it really kill somebody for me to get that sick where I could just lay there and live my best life? I don't care if I have a fever.  

Rhandyl:

Yeah. I, it's so funny how I don't know if that's just a mom thing or, I think it’s definitely on a higher level as disabled parents, but oh my gosh yeah, I, there's memes I see, or I just sometimes think about, yeah, man, if I could just be really sick and really contagious for a week. I know. I don't know. 

Deonna:

It would be awesome. Yeah. Nothing life threatening, but just like a little something that really nobody wants. There's this video I've been seeing a lot recently where moms pretend like they're thinking about falling down the stairs so they can get a few days to chill. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that is yeah, I can relate. I don't want to get hurt, but I just want to get sick with something contagious. It's not that much to ask for.  

But I'm glad I didn't feel it worse because it would have been super bad. Yeah. Especially without nursing. I know. Because, yeah. You can't like, you can't give nurses the Christmas holidays off and then be like, Oh, actually we're staying in town so you need to come back in they will hate you. So we're just like, okay, this is, it is what it is. But yeah, we were surviving a little bit, but, and Cole, my son had the flu last year at Christmas. So apparently we're cursed. I don't know what the deal is,  it’s just tis the season for all the fun things, but. Yeah. 

Rhandyl:

That's hilarious, but were there any favorite gifts your kids and you, or, I don't know, was there some top faves? 

Deonna:

I'm trying to think. I'm a huge plant lady, and so, I got this bougie fertilizer from Happy Houseplant I'm super excited about, and it sounds so stupid, but I love stuff like that.

Rhandyl:

No, I need to know about this, because my houseplants could use some. bougie fertilizer. 

Deonna:

Yeah. And I'm trying to think, Allie, what did Allie like? She liked everything. Allie likes everything. She got a blanket that has Taylor Swift on it. She likes that a lot. She got what else did she get? Oh my gosh. we got her one of those baby carriers, like the, what are those called? Like the baby Bjorn or whatever those are called. But yeah, she got a baby doll from my mom and she's been holding that baby in the baby carrier and just snuggling it. And it's so funny. Like it's hilarious. She's been taking it. We've seen the movie Wish twice. I don't know if y'all have seen it yet, but we haven't. It's super cute. It's a lot of fun, 

But yeah, she took it to go see Wish and she actually had this huge milestone. Cause after her injury, she's not liked loud sounds. And we always take those big headphones to block out some of the sound or whatever, and I was putting them on her as we were about to walk in the theater and they busted in half and she said, I guess we have to go home. And I'm like no we're going to try to go in without your headphones. We're down here. We paid our money. We're going to try to go in there. And she went in there. And at first we had, this sounds. But parents of disabled kids will understand some of these  sensory things, but we wrapped her head in like our sweatshirts and jackets and just slowly over time, she kept being like, okay, I'm ready to take off another layer and by the end of the movie, she was like no headphones. And oh, that's a big thing. Never thought she would. Do that ever again. It just, she hated it that bad. So that was pretty exciting. Yeah, that was actually like one of the big highlights of the whole holiday. I hilarious bet. She was super proud. Yeah, she was. Oh yeah. She told everybody that she doesn't need headphones anymore and most people are like, why would you even need headphones in the first place? This is the way it is. But yeah, that's a big one. Did y'all do anything else fun on the break?

Rhandyl:

We, of course, there were school parties Oh yeah, those were fun. Yeah, those were fun. But   Shamrock was the big highlight of our break, really..just chillin Yeah it was just, it was great to see all the, like you said, all the cousins and everybody under the same roof. It really seems like it only happens once a year if we get lucky.

But, yeah Remi's pretty happy with all of her gifts too. I think her, probably her favorite couple of gifts. She loves music and I found this Leapfrog boombox thing and it's really cool. It's this little, handheld boombox, but it plays  kids songs, nursery rhymes, but it also, connects to Bluetooth. And so it'll play it'll just  work as  a speaker, but you can also record on it. And I don't know. It's really cool. And she loves it.. and then music books she got a lot but her favorite one was It's I think it's called Dance with Jesus and it has all these old school  Christian Children's songs, and oh my goodness, she loves it. Like 90s VBS songs. Oh, for sure. Yeah, but uh, those were  her highlights. And then, I think we had talked about on the gift ideas, the linkamals. She loves those too. 

Deonna:

Oh, yeah. Did you post a video of her playing with those? Yeah. Yeah. Those are cute. They're really cool. Another thing where we did, I forgot about this, but we're signing up for this OBI Robot, which is like this robot that feeds you, and we did the trial this past week, and so that's been cool. I feel bad because Allie she sort of understands that it's just a trial and she has to wait until insurance approves it for us to get her other one, cause it’s really expensive. 

Rhandyl:

I didn't realize it was a trial. Okay. What was it called again?

Deonna:

It's called an OBI Robot. I'll link it in the show notes. It's OBI Robot and it feeds you and it's so cool. And you do not have to have any arm or leg movement whatsoever to use it. You can be like a quadriplegic and use it. And so it's just switches that you can use, like you can hit your head on a switch and it'll either change its plate or bring the little spoon up to your mouth, but we've been trialing that and it's been nice because she lost that ability.

Yeah. The independence of, yeah, four years ago. And so it's cool cause it's actually handled  a lot of different foods. We did ramen in there today, which I have a hard time feeding her ramen and she loves that stuff. Yeah. And it, it could do it, I could not believe it. Wow. I thought ramen ramen, which I did pulse it in the food processor a little bit to cut it a little bit. But yeah, I was amazed it could handle ramen because when we feed her that it's everywhere. But it's been nice because she can choose how fast she's eating. And it's just, yeah. So I'm super excited about that. We’re starting to work with insurance for that.

Rhandyl:

Yeah, I hope that insurance pays for it. Because not only it gives her more independence, but It frees up so much of just your caregiving like that takes lot of time. 

Deonna:

Yeah, it does. It’s a thing. It is a lot the first time she used it without us just sitting there watching her, it was so strange. I sat there and thought, oh my goodness, I can just eat my food now. This is weird. So I think it's going to be a really good thing for her. She won't be able to take it to school or anything, but just for mornings and nighttime, it'll be really nice. It's great. So yeah.

Rhandyl:

Do you guys do anything on New Year's Eve or New Year's? 

Deonna:

Not, Not really. We're pretty old farts at this point. We don't stay up. So are we. Yeah, I'm like, no, thank you. When I'm, I was looking at people's, New Year's Eve stuff on Instagram and I don't think I saw a single person I know who has a disabled kid who was awake. No. There, just no. We were in bed by ten. Yeah. Yeah. I go to bed at a normal time. There were a lot of fireworks going on in our neighborhood, which Allie's not a fan of. We had a nurse that night and she was like, oh yeah, the fireworks were a fun experience for Allie, but not her favorite thing, but what do you do? 

Rhandyl:

Yeah, we didn't do anything either, and it's funny you said the fireworks, because I, the first couple of fireworks that went off, I was like, what is going on? Are there gunshots in our backyard? And then I realized, then I remembered, oh, yeah, yeah, It is New Year's Eve. 

Deonna:

I think people shoot guns, too. Well, In Texas, people shoot guns. 

Rhandyl:

That's true, they do shoot them in the air for New Year's. I forget about that. 

The only thing that we do traditionally is I cook black eyed peas and collard greens. I started this a few years ago. I use the smoked ham hock from Thanksgiving and freeze it. And then I cook the, black eyed peas and collard greens with a smoked ham hock. 

Deonna:

Is collard greens a thing for New Year's?

Rhandyl:

It's in the same ballpark as cabbage. When people eat cabbage and greens and Oh, okay. It's like supposedly traditionally It'll bring you prosperity. 

Deonna:

Good luck, kind of thing. We need all of it we can get. For real, yeah. I should have done all the things oh my gosh.

Rhandyl:

The black eyed peas thing is a southern thing for those, that might not know they say that during the Civil war, they ran out of food while they were under siege and they were discovered cow peas and that were for the cattle, but they're actually black eyed peas. Oh, yeah. They were able to survive on that for a few days,

Deonna:

Oh, my gosh. Um. I've always wondered where that came from, because, yeah, my my Nana's always like did you eat your black eyed peas?

Rhandyl:

Yeah, there's different stories out there, but that's the one that's most common, I think, is the.

Yeah. Yeah, they survived on the black eyed peas, so I don't know if it's supposed to bring you a good look or something. Oh, that's funny. We need it. I should have done all the things. I've definitely always done, I grew up with the whole black eyed pea thing, and so did my husband, so we just keep that tradition.

Deonna:

We watched the Rose Bowl Parade. Oh yeah. That's always fun. Allie had never seen that before, so she thought that was cool. Or she maybe has seen it, but never like paid attention, but yeah. 

Rhandyl:

Speaking of parades, that's a thing on Thanksgiving. We are big  Macy's day parade watchers, and the kids loved it this year.

Deonna:

It was a good one this year. It really was. Texas Tech, which is the college where we live. Their band was in the parade and that was super fun. It was so cool. That was exciting. Yeah, we like to do all that stereotypical stuff, but yeah. 

And with new year's, we, I don't know. I used to always make new year's resolutions. I don't really as much anymore.  I don't make the new year's resolutions like, Oh, I'm going to be a completely different person tomorrow. That's I don't do those types of things, but, this year I made two goals for myself and one of them is me and my son both bought guitars two years ago and we're gonna learn and everything and then we just didn't and life happened. So me and him, we basically scheduled it on our watches to where it goes off and we have to drop everything we're doing and take a guitar lesson online. And so me and him are working on that. I had no idea that learning guitar makes your fingers hurt. So that's I'm learning, but we've started that. Yeah, I think it'll be fun. I like to sing a lot and we just are always singing and having fun. We're already like, I'm bored with these lessons. Let's learn a song. So that's not how it works, but that's what we're wanting to do.  

But, and then I like to do art in a lot of different ways. And one thing I've always thought was cool was cake decorating, which I don't even like to eat cake that much, but my family likes cake a lot. And so, I'm going to try to take my cake decorating skills up because right now they're at like level zero. I made a cake the other day and it was like a disaster. It tasted really good, but I'm just not super great at it. And I told my family I'm going to try to make a cake every month and make it match whatever the, like season or whatever. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. And my first cake I have to make is for Allie's birthday, which is in a couple weeks. Yeah, , so if any of y'all are really great cake decorators and bakers, y'all need to let me know. Cause it's just like a whole nother beast doing art with icing.

Rhandyl:

I love to, yeah, I love to bake and I love that but I am not artsy at all, and so  as long as it tastes good,  I'm good with it. But it is so impressive. I love watching all those competitions, and Oh man, I know.  They're just, it's so cool. So I look forward to seeing some of your creations. 

Deonna:

Yeah. It'll be fun. I am not gonna tackle the fondant thing for a while. I need to  just get good at the icing stuff first. That's the best anyway. Nobody eats the fondant. I know, I don't even like fondant that much. No. But yeah, so I'm excited. My family loves cake. This was so funny earlier, cause Dane loves sweets and cake and the cake was completely still intact. There was maybe like just a fourth of it taken, yeah. And Allie was looking at Dane and he was getting the knife out and she's like, save me some cake! Like he was gonna eat the whole cake. That's hilarious. And I was like, that's a valid concern, Allie. You never know, he may eat that whole thing. He loves cake. But it was pretty funny. Oh, that's funny. But do you do the New Year's resolutions and all that stuff? 

Rhandyl:

No, I'm really not big into the resolutions. I have like goals that I set, so I'm going to organize my pantry going to clean out my shoes and clothes and donate some of that stuff. I just set goals like that forthe next month or two to get that done. Yeah, but I don't really do resolutions very often and I don't have any for this year, but I think I'm excited most about goals that we have for this podcast, actually.  I'm really looking forward to upcoming episodes and topics that we plan to discuss after, getting together this week and kind of talking through things, I think this year, 2024 has a lot in store for raising disabled, so we shall see. 

Deonna:

Yeah, we're super excited. We laid out  the whole first six months and I love the direction that it's going in. We're doing some of the stuff we were doing before, trying to add some new things. And if you're not following us on Instagram or Facebook, we're at @RaisingDisabledPodcast. And we have not been super active on there during our break because, we've been out taking a break. Taking a break. Yep. But we're going to be back here  this week. And that's a good place to interact with us, talk to us, give us ideas for future episodes, ask us questions, whatever. That's the best and easiest way to talk to us is on our Instagram or Facebook. 

And we have a parent Facebook group. If your child is disabled and you want to be in that group, you can just send me a direct message on Instagram. And we can add you and so what we do in that group is just bounce ideas off of each other. If there's an episode that's coming up, we'll ask that group for their opinions. It can be mom's, dad's, whatever. We're a really supportive group, and I really had a lot of fun seeing what these moms say. 

We want other opinions outside of just our own for sure. And we have some really fun guest ideas lined up and we're going to do more dumb things people say. So if you guys have ideas for that. That's just kind of things that people say to parents of disabled kids that we think is dumb or inappropriate or, whatever the list goes on and on. Annoying, whatever. 

We're going to introduce you guys to a bunch of new parents and their experiences. And those have been my favorite episodes because you just get this look into. What somebody else is going through and you think you understand other  parents of disabled kids and you do in a lot of ways, we all have our different experiences that we're going through.

So, I love talking to other moms and dads. It's one of my favorites. So yeah. We just are so thankful for all of you guys who have decided to come along with us in season one. We're excited about season two, and we're gonna follow the same format every two weeks. And we're just so happy to be back, and we will see you guys next time.

Rhandyl:

Happy New Year!