Deonna: [00:00:00] Hey y'all. Welcome back to Raising Disabled. So today we have Brooklyn Boyer with us and I have just recently, in the last few years actually met Brooklyn. Your parents were my professors at LCU and so I knew who you guys were and everything, and I had both of them in class. And I obviously remember your injury very well.

It happened pretty close to my daughter's injury and I just remember you guys going through that from far away and not knowing you or really anything that was going on. And I remember, it's so crazy 'cause I remember just. Thinking, oh my gosh, that's so hard. I can't imagine what she's going through and everything.

And then it almost happened exactly to us, maybe four or five months later. And I remember talking to your mom, I think she got my number from somebody, like when we [00:01:00] were in the ICU with just in two days or something. And I just started being friends with your mom right off the bat. And so I actually know your mom a little better than you because we've talked a lot, but you live in the same town as us and everything, but just before we get started in everything, just kind of tell us a little bit about you and your family and where you live and just anything you want people to know like that.

Brooklyn: Yeah. So, I'm Brooklyn and I live in Lubbock, Texas. And, currently I live with my mom and dad still. Mm-hmm. I have since I got injured but in a couple months I'll be moving in with my husband. Mm-hmm. So we'll get married this summer and it'll be an adjustment, but it'll be super fun and exciting and just a change of scenery and my first time living outside of my house. So, yeah. That'll be interesting.

And then I have one older brother named Tyler. We're about five [00:02:00] years apart and he's helped a lot with us too after my injury. And so, mm-hmm. I've just been very blessed to have such a supportive and caring and loving family to help me just all throughout my life, but it. Has just really become so much more evident since I became paralyzed. Yeah. And unable to do a lot of things for myself, but it's truly such a blessing and I'm so thankful to have a family and community and friends, who are willing to help me with anything that I need and they never bat an eye. So, yeah. I truly feel blessed. Despite some of the challenges and adversity that I've faced. 

Deonna: Yeah, no, I'm glad you have such a good support system. It's, I can't imagine takes a village doing what you have to do without that. And it's, I mean, our kids are lucky to have that too, but not everybody has that and so it's mm-hmm. It's good when, it's a big deal to have it 'cause it's just, and they're [00:03:00] blessed to have you too. Obviously I've talked to them about that. But

so you were paralyzed in 2020 summer, like height of COVID kind of like us. So it was already such a chaotic time in the world really to begin with. So what do you remember about those first few months tell us a little bit about your injury. You don't have to go into all of it, but just like what happened and then what you remember about those first few months. 

Brooklyn: So, my injury happened while I was swimming with some friends and I ended up hitting my head at the bottom of the pool mm-hmm. And instantly crushing my C five vertebrae. Mm-hmm. So, I became a quadriplegic and the blink of an eye. Mm-hmm. And I just remember in those first weeks like you said, it was the height of COVID and so, I was very fortunate to be able to have two of my family members with me in the ICU.

Yeah. But a lot of that was due, 

Rhandyl: that's a blessing because [00:04:00] that wasn't happening a lot. 

Brooklyn: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it wasn't. And I was a minor and that's why they were able to, , and then when I went to my rehab hospital after being in the SICU for two weeks we moved to Colorado to be at Craig Rehabilitation Hospital. Mm-hmm. And they had so many restrictions. I almost wasn't able to have anybody with me in the hospital, but because I was a minor, they allowed one parent to be with me. And then eventually after a couple weeks, they allowed my parents to switch off every 24 hours.

But the whole time that I was there for three months doing physical therapy for eight hours a day except two days off on the weekends, I still couldn't see anyone else in my family or friends or visitors. I could only see people, it was like two or three people that were allowed to see me outside at a social distance for 45 minutes a week. So that was. [00:05:00] It was very challenging because we're far away from home. And then if we did have visitors, which was a big blessing, I could only see them for a little bit and I couldn't even hug them.

Yeah. But it was still good for them to come and visit my family 'cause my family wasn't getting to come and see me either. So it was always just a blessing to have people willing to travel all the way from Lubbock or wherever to come to Colorado and still be able to support my family and yeah.

In Alan's family my fiance now, we had just started dating a week before my injury and he had just finished lifeguard training a week before my injury. Oh, wow. So he was actually there that day and was able to know all the correct procedures to make sure that I didn't drown, make sure that I was afloat and steady and stable while the ambulance was on the way. And him and his family actually moved to Colorado that summer with us. So they were a huge support and I'll forever just be [00:06:00] so thankful for them and, our relationship, Alan and mine because we've stuck with each other through it all. And yeah, he just doesn't bat a eye at it. Anything. And is 

Deonna: how old were y'all? Like 17? 

Brooklyn: Mm-hmm. I was 17 and he was 16. 

Rhandyl: God, wow. That's such a, were you special story, 

Deonna: You're saying you weren't really able to hang out with him that whole entire time, except for maybe the little like 45 minute?

Brooklyn: Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

Deonna: That's a crazy way to start dating. 

Brooklyn: Yes, it was. And our parents actually met in the emergency room basically whenever I was there. Or it was either the emergency room or while I was in ICU. Right. They came up there and met my parents and they just, yeah. 

Deonna: Wow. Had y'all known each other for a long time?

Brooklyn: Alan and I had first met the November. Before. So not a whole lot. 

Deonna: Not a long time. I mean, really. 

Brooklyn: Yeah. [00:07:00] We had been talking and things like that, but he officially asked me to be his girlfriend a week before my accident on June 10th. 

Deonna: Oh my gosh. Whoa. That is just such weird, like sometimes you look back on timing of things in life. Mm-hmm. And that is just, that's gotta be one of the strangest like timing things for y'all. 

Brooklyn: Yes. 

Deonna: I, we had similar experiences because, we were in the ICU and we were in very strict hospitals everywhere we went. , And that was hard, as a parent to go through that without your person in the room, which is what we were going through. But, I didn't think about Allie's perspective on that till later. Like not having mom and dad. Ever together. Together. Mm-hmm. And it was weird. I mean, when I think about it now, I think, man, that was probably kind of like a unstable feeling, having only one of us there and everything. Yeah. But that was the hard part of COVID was everybody having to go through it. [00:08:00] I don't know. So alone feeling. That was tough. 

Rhandyl: I'm sure it was isolating for you. Oh. Especially being somewhere and where you're not familiar with anything. Yeah. You're going through this traumatic experience on top of being in this pandemic. I assume you were able to like FaceTime and like phone call and all of that. I mean that's, that helps. That's helpful this day and age. Yes. But like still the physical, not the same being No. Heck no. It's not the same. No. 

Deonna: So you were at the Craig for three months you said? 

Brooklyn: Yes. Around three and three.

Deonna: Then you come home and, I mean, I remember you being in and outta the hospital a little bit. Some, yes. Like us. It's like your body is still freaking out, I feel mm-hmm. and trying to figure out how to adjust to the new. Like way it's gonna work and everything. Was that just tough on you every time, you thought you were okay, then something would happen. I mean, I remember that being really discouraging for Allie, so I assume 

Brooklyn: Yes. [00:09:00] Yeah, it's always difficult. Mm-hmm. Just when I do have to have a hospital stay, or even just sometimes doctor's appointments, they just remind me. They bring up so many things. The trauma that I've experienced. So yeah it's always difficult. But there's also a little bit of positivity because I have been there so many times, it's like,. Okay. We know that we've handled it all these other times. Us as a family, we'll be able to handle whatever this brings. And we're also a family of faith and so mm-hmm. That has really played a pivotal role in our story and the way that we've been able to just keep going and wake up each day and just hit the day head on because myself, as a believer, I know that this world is not my home. 

Deonna: Yeah. 

Brooklyn: Mm-hmm. And so I'm able to really just rely on that hope. And so that has been a huge part of my recovery and living as well. Yeah, that's, 

Rhandyl: I love hearing you say that. 

Deonna: And it's hard, it is nice hearing you say that. 'cause like with Allie, she was so much younger. You [00:10:00] think okay, does she have her own faith? At that time she didn't, but now she does. But yeah you were having to figure out at a tough time in your life, a very impressionable time in your life. Which direction you were gonna go. And I'm sure it was maybe not the easiest feeling sometimes, like you, I mean, you get mad at God and things like that, but I'm glad that you've come out on the other side of this, mm-hmm. Still feeling that way. 'cause it's not easy.

But I was gonna ask you, did you get to make friends with other, people who were going through the same stuff as you when you were in Colorado? Or did they keep you guys like really separate or how'd that work 

Brooklyn: They have a group called Teen Rehab. That usually without COVID happening you would meet a couple times a week and just teens that are going through the same kind of thing as you. Yeah. And just know what you're going through. So it was a group of teens that either. Had [00:11:00] brain injuries or spinal cord injuries. And the first couple weeks they had that shut down, but after a while they opened it back up. It was still social distancing and all of that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But I was able to make some really good connections and relationships with individuals who were going through very similar situations.

And that was just a big blessing as well because doctors can talk to you as much as they can. Therapists can talk to you as much as they can. Your family can, even your friends back home can, but nobody else knows. Even close to what you, yourself are going through. Yeah. 

And I made a really good friend. His name is Jason, and we've kept in touch over the years and that's good. He lives in Kansas. But he came down to Lubbock and visited and Oh, good. Things like that. He was my closest friend there. And I was the only girl there the whole time. Oh gosh. Which was, yeah. We would always joke just that I was having to. Wrangle all the boys around and whatever.

Oh, how [00:12:00] funny. And then funny it was just funny 'cause a week before I left, there was a girl that got there and so, oh my gosh. Yeah. You never want like somebody else to be there, but it, no, I ended up growing to love all the guys and things like that. But I'm very thankful for my relationship and friendship with. Jason and that we were able to rely on each other during that time and we still catch up with each other and check on each other. So, that's a friendship that I'm really thankful for. 

Deonna: That's good. And I think this is kind of something I feel like I, we need to sort of explain, like , you said you're quadriplegic, which you are very different than, like Allie was a C one, so there's no movement below the neck.

Mm-hmm. No, nothing like vent trach, everything. Your C five. So describe, kind of what that means in a difference. I mean, it's just a few inches difference, but mm-hmm. The way your body reacts to it is super different. 

Brooklyn: Yes. So for my spinal cord injury at the C five, oh, [00:13:00] I am technically an incomplete, just barely. But yeah, I'm paralyzed from basically. The chest down. Yeah. And so I don't have really any movement below that level. When I first got injured, I could barely lift my shoulders. I couldn't really. Do anything with my arms. Yeah. And now I have wrist flexion, which allows me to grasp things a little bit. Yeah. I still don't have hand function but I am able to use my arms a lot more which I'm very grateful for.

And feeling wise, like touch and sensitivity and temperature and things like that it's kind of the same thing. It gets spotty anywhere below my chest. I can feel a little bit better on my left side, which is strange. You would think that it would just be the same on both sides. Mm-hmm. A lot of times with spinal cord injuries, one side's stronger than the other, or you can feel more on the other things like that. It just, like [00:14:00] you said, it affects everyone. Very differently. Mm-hmm. Depending on the nature and just what exactly happened at the injury level. Yeah. So that's kind of 

Rhandyl: where I'm at. At you're saying it's like slightly incomplete in my medical therapy mind. I'm like, okay. So that side that you can feel that asymmetry is probably definitely correlated to that.

Brooklyn: Yes. 

Rhandyl: To the Yeah. That's interesting. Complete. 

Deonna: And you can feel internal things, like even, Allie can feel like internal things, like organ type things. Mm-hmm. And that was, I mean, which that would always get my hopes up at first, but now I realize that's like a totally different thing Yeah. Than like your extremities and stuff. Mm-hmm.

So it's so complicated as we have talked about on here many times, you just, you not being able to move certain parts of your body is like the very surface level of how complicated this mm-hmm. Diagnosis is. Obviously, yes. Like pretty much every disability, but I feel like people think they know what [00:15:00] paralysis is like, but Woo. I mean, I didn't Yeah, they don't until now, but mm-hmm.

So when, was there a moment when it sunk into you like, oh my gosh, like this is gonna be different. Something has happened and like things are not gonna be the same as before? 

Brooklyn: Honestly, right when I hit my head at the bottom of the pool, I kind of knew instantly 

Deonna: oh really?

Brooklyn: I did. Oh wow. I never lost consciousness, which, now I realize is a blessing. Some people will say oh, you have to remember all of that. But it's if I had lost consciousness, I could have inhaled water. Yeah. I can you so many different things, and so looking back, I'm thankful for it, but , that was a moment where I was like, man, something is very wrong.

And I knew enough, from anatomy and all of the things to know, I'm pretty sure I just broke my neck somehow and I'm paralyzed. And so of course in that moment I didn't know exactly what [00:16:00] that would mean moving forward. Yeah. And then the shocks set in and then I don't, that's crazy.

Yeah. And then of course there's been moments like throughout the years of getting to that realization point of it's been a couple years and this is what I've regained back and yeah, I can be. Very thankful for that, but mm-hmm. I can also mourn that I'm probably not going to do X, y, Z in the future. Yeah. Unless say there's some medical breakthrough, which there very well could be, but as of right now I know that I probably will not get up and walk again without that.

And so . Those moments have arguably been maybe a little harder than the initial realization just because there's more of a finality to it. But you just kind of gotta try to do your best to accept that and say, okay, so this is reality, and what are we gonna do moving forward? Mm-hmm. And how can I make the best of this new reality? Yeah. 

Deonna: Well, and [00:17:00] it's like when you're saying these things, we've talked about this with other people like. You like, I feel like the patient accepts the reality faster than the mom and the dad. Yes. And the, and then the mom and dad sort of accept it. I mean, I like, I think Allie she'll say things sometimes that makes me be like, did she accept this and know this before we even were able to. Mm-hmm. She was younger.

So it's different when you're older. 'cause I have thought about that. I'm like, was Brooklyn having completely different thoughts about this because of her age and what she knows about life? And that would've been so much harder because, you don't have that naive. Kind of thing to be like, well, I don't know what's happening. So I've thought about that for you being like, oh my gosh. Did she just know? I mean, exactly. Yeah. 

Rhandyl: And well, and being at the age you were when this happened, you were about to , flourish into adulthood and so many things were about to happen [00:18:00] in a very, short period of time. Mm-hmm. If you think about it, mm-hmm. Graduating high school, going to college, and thankfully you got to do all these things, which we'll get into later. Yes. But gosh, yeah. That time in your life. Yeah.

But,, so I wanna know, you had really intense therapies, obviously in Colorado at Craig for those three months. And then what did that first, year after your injury look like? With not just the therapies, but all the things like hardest adjustments being back home, I'm just curious like how that mm-hmm. That first year of adapting to this new life. 

Brooklyn: Yeah. So, super intense therapy at Craig and mm-hmm. It involved like all kinds of different therapy. There was PT and ot, but there was also like massage therapy to help with muscles and neck and Yeah. There was a teacher there that would talk to my teachers back home at my school to help me stay on track. So that's amazing. I could graduate and start school. That's [00:19:00] smart. So, but it was still all really intense. Oh yeah. And then when I moved back home, , I would go to high school for half the day and I would do therapy for the other half of the day.

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Brooklyn: But some of the hardest adjustment I would say [00:20:00] was one, not being able to live the whole like senior year social with my friends, mm-hmm. Like I was half there. And also just feeling like almost imposter syndrome in a way. Like , I am so different now. Like I am not who I was before my injury. Like now I have to learn how to integrate myself back into school and back with my friends. And of course all my friends are dealing in their own way as well. And so just learning how to navigate the change in relationships sometimes. And there's a group of my friends that I'm still super close with. There are also some people that I was friends with before my injury that just relationship has fizzled out for one way or another. So that was a hard adjustment.

And then another big one was adjusting to my parents, becoming my full-time [00:21:00] caregivers. Like you said, I was just on the cusp of. Full adulthood and mm-hmm. Got to move into a dorm for college and things like that, after one more year of school and I was to where I could do everything myself. Yeah. And then in the blink of an eye that's all gone. Mm-hmm. And so I'm having to rely on people just for basically everything. Yeah. And so that was an adjustment that started at Craig, just them learning my care and all the medical things that I would need. And, but it's a whole different beast when you don't have the doctors and nurses around every single day to Right. Help you and guide you. And

my parents are just the best. They're amazing. And they're rock stars at being caregivers and parents. Mm-hmm. But it was still an adjustment for both of us, just learning, okay, how do we. Still be child and parents. Mm-hmm. But also caregiver and yeah. Oh yeah. Person. And [00:22:00] so that, was a big adjustment and sometimes it still is. Just learning how to be okay with being taken care of and asking for help. Even when it's things that are uncomfortable or things that Sure, no 17, 18-year-old wants to ask their parents to help you with, yeah, of course.

Rhandyl: Um, But I think about . You giving that perspective of, going from, just parent child to caregiver. Plus parent child. It's like a whole different realm, which for me, my daughter was born disabled. So that was my role for mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Five years until I had my son. And so then that was what I was used to. And then, I had a typical kid come along and it was just like, boom. But Deonna had the same scenario as like your parents, but to hear you talk about, your perspective of how that change was. 'cause we talk about that all the time with caregivers and parents, of course. Mm-hmm. 

And [00:23:00] I Can only imagine like a senior going back to school after your junior summer, like being completely physically different and obviously needing so much more care and only getting to go half a day and all the things.

But , was there ever like a moment that you realized I'm still me after all this changed? Or did you feel like, , I'm me, but I'm like a new, I don't know, I just wanna know how your personality changed kind of. Yeah. In that last little bit of high school,

which when you said that your relationships with your friends and all of that. Deonna and I have talked about that a lot. We can relate to that in a caregiver role. Mm-hmm. Like , I had a huge source of friends before everything happened with my daughter. Mm-hmm. I Was super social and then you kind of figure out like who you ride or die mm-hmm. Is mm-hmm. And then people for whatever reason, you just lose contact and your circle becomes smaller. So yeah. Sorry, I'm rambling on, but Yeah, I'm just curious about how like your perspective on [00:24:00] your self went like once you kind of got back into the world and social life. 

Brooklyn: Yeah. So it was, I don't know if there was like a definitive moment. Yeah. But there definitely was a shift where, I don't know, I guess I had to look at, okay, so sure I'm different physically, but I was fortunate enough where I didn't have a brain injury as well. Like I'm still mm-hmm. I'm still the same me, I still have my personality and like I can still do X, Y, z, I can still care for people, I can still make jokes. I can still do all these different things just in a different way. Mm-hmm.

And eventually I began to realize that. This experience and all the different challenges that I've gone through really have been able to teach me a lot of lessons and, I was forced to grow up a lot faster than a lot of people and just yeah. Have a big perspective shift on okay, what truly [00:25:00] matters. And just yeah, how to deal with all of the hard life things, mm-hmm. That lot of people 

Rhandyl: Yeah. You came from a drama filled high school yeah. Environment, and then this happens and you're I'm sure no drama. You're like, no, no drama. Nobody has time with that. Yeah. That's, 

Deonna: I'm just thinking of you sitting, I can only imagine sitting there and all your friends talking about something and you being like, oh bro, I cannot even participate in conversation. This is so dumb. 

Brooklyn: There were definitely some moments like that, but you know, I have empathy because. Like you were saying, you don't know what it's like until you've been through it, yeah. So, and I don't like to compare people's, I guess, hard moments. Mm-hmm. Like when people say I shouldn't be complaining about this. You're going through X, Y, Z, but sometimes what that person is going through is the hardest thing they've ever gone through. So to them it seems it's sad, like the same magnitude as something like this for me. So, yeah. There definitely were some moments where I was like, okay, guess. Mm-hmm. [00:26:00] What, what really matters here? And just different things like that.

But yeah, I would say that definitely my personality a lot of it was the same, but a lot of it. Has changed. I have learned to be more direct. I think from mainly just having to speak up to caregivers or doctors or my medical team, like you have to learn how to advocate for yourself, and I'm sure y'all know that full well because you have to advocate for your children day in and day out. Yeah. And so, that is something that, I've gained in this, is just being able to be more open as well. And at first I did not wanna really talk to anybody about what I'd gone through . Mm-hmm. To me, it made it more real and more final. Mm-hmm. But I've been able to get to a place where, I am able to do things like this mm-hmm. Or able to talk to other individuals online that are going through something similar to what I've been through. And in a way it's [00:27:00] very meaningful to me and very life-giving. Mm-hmm. And 17-year-old me before mm-hmm. My accident probably would've never wanted to talk to people about personal things like that. Mm-hmm. 

And now I look at myself and mm-hmm. I wanna be a therapist and so I'm gonna be hearing people's stories and trying to help them with different things and just being able to cope with different things day in and day out. And so, I'm thankful for this new perspective I've been able to gain from these strategies and different experiences. Mm-hmm. 

Deonna: That's cool that you wanna be a therapist. I think that's a really good path, to go on because you do understand. How hard life can be. But you also can be empathetic to the fact, like you were saying yeah, you're an impact. I remember one time my son was like, I have the hardest life of anybody in my school. And I was like, no, dude, you don't like you, you think you do. But there's people whose parents [00:28:00] don't love them. There's people who, I mean mm-hmm. You know, these things that aren't as like on the outside so hard. But I mean, there's a million things that people are going through and

I sometimes catch myself like comparing things like that. Like what you were saying. Like I'm like, okay, yeah, they're not having as hard of a life as my kid or whatever. But you just don't know what people are going through. And so I think that's a good thing to for all of us to keep in our head. But ,

so you're now engaged and what does that look like for you guys right now? 

Brooklyn: So obviously we're doing wedding planning and lots of wedding planning. It's a lot. Yeah. Obviously anyone who has planned a wedding knows. And so yeah, . We wanted a little bit mm-hmm. Of a longer, , engagement just because that was what was gonna work best for us school-wise, but also he's having to learn my care and things like that too. And so we didn't wanna be rushing with that. And wedding planning, just in such a short time. So, mm-hmm. Right now he is [00:29:00] starting to learn the things that he can learn at this point before we're married. And so that's been fun. Just have him and my parents and they'll teach him and he's doing a great job so far.

And , I just, I love him so much and he cares for me so deeply and, we both know that we would do anything for each other and so , I'm so lucky to have found a love like that. And that's just another one of those blessings where if I look at my life in perspective, sure, there's been a lot of arguably bad things, but there's been so many good things that have still prevailed and so, yeah he's one of my biggest blessings and we've had fun doing wedding planning but it's also stressful because it's so stressful. It's just a lot on its own. Yeah. We're both still going through school. I'm in grad school right now studying to be a counselor and mm-hmm. So, there's that at the same time. But it's all good things. Just a lot at once. 

Deonna: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Weren't y'all in People Magazine? [00:30:00] 

Brooklyn: Yes. We're, 

Deonna: what was that like to be in, because that's a big magazine, like what was that like to be in that? Yes, 

Brooklyn: It was insane, honestly. Because they did a news story here because Lubbock has kind of kept up with my story and Yeah. If there's like big events like graduating or getting engaged, they just wanna check back in and see how I'm doing. And so they interviewed us and then a bunch of different news stations were like, we wanna promote that story as well. Yeah. And just so happened that people was one of them. And so 

Deonna: That's crazy.

Brooklyn: I remember seeing that and I was like, what? 

Rhandyl: Wow. That's, and it was just kind of crazy and that's awesome. 

Brooklyn: Yeah, it was crazy. But I'm so thankful because like I said, now I enjoy sharing my story and because I know that there are people out there that could benefit and I feel that the Lord has given me this experience and all the things that have come with it. So [00:31:00] why would I not. Share that. Mm-hmm. And try and help others who may be going through something similar or may have family members or friends that are in I even I think of your daughter, Allie and mm-hmm. I want little girls or little boys just to see that if something like this does occur in their life or maybe they were born that way, that yeah, there's still so much good that can come from it and that they can do just about anything that anyone else can. It may just look differently. Yeah. 

You know, And that you can still get married, you can still pursue a degree if they want to. And so I just feel very blessed to have my story and to be able to share that with the hopes that someone else will be able to see it. Because when I look at back at 17-year-old Brooklyn and. There were people that would reach out online or tell me things and I would look and see how far they have come. Mm-hmm. It would gimme hope to be able to say, okay, [00:32:00] this is possible. 

Deonna: Yeah. I think it's good for people to see there's life after a tough thing and even for the parents to see you. Mm-hmm. Doing this, it made, us feel okay sometimes, but we also would see you struggling sometimes and be like, oh my gosh. I didn't even think about that happening. I mean, it was like, but what I was gonna ask you earlier was. Like you went from just being a typical 17-year-old person to having all this attention. I remember when you came home, it was a big deal. Everybody was calling me and texting me, Brooke. Everybody was telling me you were back. Allie wasn't. Well, no, Allie might've. When did you come back to Lubbock? I'm trying to remember the month. 

Brooklyn: I came back late September, I think. 

Deonna: Yeah. So I Allie wasn't even hurt yet, but I remember people being like, she got outta the hospital and I was like, oh, that's good. But 

Rhandyl: oh, I remember it all over the local, like it was, we were here and it was, I mean, yes [00:33:00] and yeah. I think I even had a coworker that's daughter was friends with you. I don't even know, but it was just like everybody knew mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I mean, it was a big deal. 

Deonna: It was like it was the news, but I mean, how was. Yeah. Like how have you adjusted to, because I've talked to my daughter in the past and she's there's times I just wish I was an anonymous person. Yes. And you'll have people come up to us and be like, Ali, and we've never met these people. Never. And it's like a little baby celebrity going everywhere with us.

But and I think sometimes that annoys her and, then it sort of makes me feel bad sometimes as her mom because I feel like it's my fault. People know who she is. Mm-hmm. But on the flip side of that, like your mom had to do, your mom would write these Facebook posts? I would do like videos 'cause people were so. Either concerned or nosy or, fill in the blank. Mm-hmm. And so we would have to update because people were so worried about mm-hmm. You and her and everything. And so, what is it like [00:34:00] having everybody, pay this much attention to you? I mean, is it hard sometimes or what do you think about it?

Brooklyn: I would say that , there's good and bad to it. Yeah. Initially when my accident happened it was crazy. One, just because so many people were invested in praying for me mm-hmm. And all these things and supporting us and just doing really could. Yeah. Yes. And you want that.

And then there's also the flip side of it's still difficult to have all of these reminders of what you have lost in a way. Mm-hmm. And it's not those people's faults, but there is. Just kind of in the back of your mind, it's like, these are all such kind gestures, but I had to go through something horrible to mm-hmm. Experience that.

But I would say that for me the blessing of all of these people and the prayers and the support from all of our different Lubbock communities the blessing definitely [00:35:00] outweighs any of the, things like that. Yeah. But it is hard to have just so many details about your life out there, because yeah. Especially your body when yes. I.

That's another thing, an area that I've grown in, now, I would've never said anything about anything medical or anything before my injury. But now it's like the first thing they did at Craig when you get there is they take off all your clothes. They have to inspect your body, make sure that you don't have pressure sores, all these things, just like in the er. So now I'm to the point where if doctors need to see anything, I'm like, yeah, sure, go ahead. I don't care. It's just, you become more open, be like, whatever, because that's what you have to do. Yeah. 

Mm-hmm. And so, but it is still hard. Like there, there is still things where it's like, man, now a setback has happened or something bad and we put that out there and so then people will ask me about it in person. So it's like I have to relive it again and again. Mm-hmm. Which they [00:36:00] mean it with the purest of intentions. But that, that I would say is a little bit difficult. But again, I'm super thankful to have so many people caring for me. 

Deonna: Well that kind of leads into our next question. Mm-hmm. What are things that people say and I've had this talk with, lots of different people who've had like different injuries and stuff, but what's something that people say to you

we do the dumb things people say, yeah. Where we like, are like, okay, this is what you're saying. That's bad. Let's maybe say something different. They mean what are things people, but Oh yeah, they usually do. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

But what are things people say to you that you're like, oh my gosh please don't say that to me ever again. Or anyone for that matter. 

Brooklyn: This one's kind of dumb and they mean very well, but like when elderly people will mention anything about oh, you wanna race, or like, watch the speed limit there, it's I know you usually joking and like trying to be nice, but it's like. Come on. Do we have to acknowledge [00:37:00] that I have a wheelchair every single time that we talk, 

Deonna: yeah. Old but people kill me. Their comments are so 

Brooklyn: yeah. Slow down. Speed racer. 

Deonna: They're always, do you have a license? And I'm like, I'm pushing her. She's not even driving it herself. Oh my God. 

Brooklyn: Yeah. That's funny. I'm trying to think of some others. Some that I've gotten online have been like, you're so pretty for like a disabled person or something like that. And it's

Deonna: thanks. 

Rhandyl: We've gotten that about our girl. What? Before? It's so weird. 

Deonna: You're too, some people, I've seen them, people say, you're too pretty to be disabled. And you're like, well, that's not how it works. So yeah. I don't know what you're saying. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah, that one kills me. That one's, oh my gosh.

Brooklyn: Yeah. One time there was someone, when I had first gotten back they came up and were talking to me and then they were like, so can like you move your legs yet? Can you walk yet? And it's just like they, they don't [00:38:00] know, but it's then that's again, me having to acknowledge no. Mm-hmm. I can't, and it doesn't work like that as much as I wish it did.

Rhandyl: Yeah. 

Brooklyn: But yeah there's plenty of things that people say's, oh, you 

Rhandyl: could go, we could have a whole hole. 

Deonna: Yeah. Could tell. You could probably tell us for an hour. Yeah. Well, and the word yet is so problematic in that comment and you just don't ask any disabled people ever if they can do anything, because yes. If they can do it, they're probably doing it in front of you, like mm-hmm. That's ridiculous. Yeah. But yeah, we had people be like, is she better yet? And you're like I don't know if that's gonna happen. Yeah. And thank you for sticking that knife in my heart even harder. Yeah. And twisting. 

Rhandyl: I'm curious if you've had, 'cause we had a full episode about this a while back, and I'm sure you have, but what is one of the craziest things that, someone has told you that's like outside of the medical world that you should try? Like for example, I don't know, essential oils, crystals.

Is there something like wild that [00:39:00] people have told you that you're like, that was so weird. 

Brooklyn: I'm trying to think. Something like, well, have you tried like physical therapy? It's like extensively have, no, i've just been, I've just been laying in bed hoping that it'll happen. Like 

Deonna: you're like my physical therapists are basically like aunts and uncles too, are like, I mean, they're like my family.

Yes, I have tried physical therapy. 

Rhandyl: Wow. 

Deonna: That kills me. Oh my gosh. Yeah, they say some dumb stuff, that's for sure. 

Rhandyl: Okay, so we've mentioned you're, so you're in grad school. You finished, all four years of undergrad. So, what was that experience like? Like navigating, accessibility, independence, your, expectations in general at Lubbock Christian University.

Brooklyn: . It took a village. But I was very blessed to have such a kind village. LCU was just so wonderful in one, [00:40:00] making their campus accessible. Anything that I saw that I was like maybe that could be improved. Some they would always be open to hearing it and if they were able to, they would do it. And that's amazing. Yes. And all of my teachers and professors they were always super accommodating just with different things. And lots of them hadn't ever had a student who had physical disabilities like I did. And so, we were able to kind of work together to try and find ways that I could still complete the same work, just maybe in a different way or things that might make. My assignment more accessible or things like that.

And also the accessibility department at LCU was wonderful as well. There's a woman named Lorenda Kreel and she would help me with any tests that I would have to take that weren't online. And so, we got to be good friends and , I ended up actually being able to do an on-campus job for her. I got to sit desk in [00:41:00] the student services department and that was also a really big opportunity and a thing that I feel really grateful for because yeah. Even though it was arguably a small job, like it was the biggest job in the world for me because mm-hmm. One, I had never had a job before. Yeah. 

, And two, it was something that I could do on my own. 

Deonna: Mm-hmm. And um, that big, 

Brooklyn: they also helped. Me with accommodations with that and of course some people would have to help me with some things of the job. But it was still huge and just a big independence factor for me and feeling like, , I can be a functional member of society and I can contribute and things like that. Mm-hmm. And even though I knew that, like I had not really to that point, 

Rhandyl: it was your first time to yeah. Experience that.

Brooklyn: It was my first time and it opened the door for me to be able to see myself become a counselor and decide to move further So I'm very thankful for that. And , yeah, the LCU community is wonderful and, I mean, [00:42:00] we were already close with a lot of people at LCU just because both my parents worked there and they have for a long time. But especially after my accident, that community really stepped up and just loved us so well. And I'm super thankful. And I liked it enough to go and get my graduate there, so. 

Deonna: Nice. Nice. That's what I was gonna ask if that was where you were doing it. Yes. I feel like LC u's such a great place to go. If people are wondering, I mean, I went there and it's such a great place, but I do remember walking around like after you started there and I was like, they've done some stuff.

Brooklyn: Yes. They've added many door openers 

Deonna: attention as you know, with Alllie. And I was like they've upgraded a little bit 'cause of Brooklyn. Okay, this is good. It made me laugh. Mm-hmm. Hey, you gotta go before other people and get it, get 'em to get their stuff together. 

Rhandyl: There you go. Yeah. So you kind of touched on the whole independence thing and how that was kind of like your first experience.

So like now a few years later, how do you [00:43:00] define independence compared to how you might have defined it, before your injury? 

Brooklyn: Before my injury I probably would've just said independence was moving out of the house, not living with my parents. But of course now , I have a very different perspective and independence for me is really just anything that I'm able to accomplish.

Even if it does require some help, I think that you can still be independent in asking for help and 

Deonna: yeah, 

Brooklyn: Going about that and navigating how to do different things. And one thing that's been really big in my independence that I can do on my own is driving, and that was something that. I had no idea I would be able to do as a quadriplegic or mm-hmm. As someone who's paralyzed. But at Craig Rehabilitation, they mentioned it and I remember my family and I were like, what? I could do that, like how would that [00:44:00] work? And so , it's a lengthy process and a lot of hoops you gotta jump through and things like that. Mm-hmm. And I had to do a lot more driving hours and training and had to complete my driver's license test again. But it all ended up working out eventually. And so now I'm able to operate my own vehicle and take myself places and do that completely independently. And so that's been a huge thing for me. Yeah. And also my family because up until that point, a friend or a family member was having to take me everywhere. Mm-hmm. Yeah. In our accessible van. But now I have a car that I can unlock. The ramp comes out, I roll in my wheelchair to the driver's seat and I have hand controls that help me be able to operate. And so now if I wanna go have coffee with a friend, I just meet the friend there. I don't have to have my parents do that. That is so amazing. Things like that.

That's a big deal. Yes. It's huge. And even individuals with even less physical ability than [00:45:00] me can still do it. Like I know some individuals who have like sip and puff things mm-hmm. That help them drive a car. And so it's just, that's another just really cool thing that, i've been blessed to be able to obtain. And that is out there for individuals who do have disabilities. And , it's really encouraging because years ago they didn't have that. And so if I look and think, well, years ago. Somebody like me couldn't drive. What's gonna happen the next couple of years? And so that's just source of hope. Oh, things are changing so much. Yeah, it's been huge independence for me. 

Deonna: That's amazing. 

Rhandyl: That's so cool. 

Deonna: Allie said , we just have to buy her a Tesla. And I was like yeah, no. Yeah. We're like, oh, can't chill out. Can't do it, man. Let's, yeah. Yeah. We just have unlimited funds, that is cool that you can drive. 'Cause I mean, it is hard when you feel like, oh crap, I am not going to be able to go where I want. I mean, like that was probably a. Fear that you had [00:46:00] for a long time. So I mean, that's huge that you can do that. I knew you were driving, but I wasn't realizing you were driving like, independently, like you could go mm-hmm.

By yourself. That's so exciting. Oh my gosh. 

Rhandyl: That's huge. And it was, I mean, your injury happened like right after, you got your yes. Your original driver's license. Yes. Finally felt that sense of independence. So I can't imagine the timing, like mm-hmm. Now and like years later after injury, finally getting that independence back. I mean, I'm, I can only imagine the gratitude. Mm-hmm. And the, just the feeling of yeah, I can just, like you said, meet a friend for coffee. Mm-hmm. Go 

Deonna: Well It opens up your job opportunities. oh, my gosh. Yes. I mean, you don't have to work from home or you don't have to do mm-hmm. You could, but it does open up like anything. I mean, it's huge. 

Brooklyn: Yes. 

Rhandyl: So that kind of goes into like, okay, you're stepping into this adulthood. You are about to [00:47:00] get married, move out of your parents' house. You're in grad school, going to be starting a career soon. So all of that sounds really exciting. But , it's also very stressful, so, mm-hmm. Obviously you're excited about those things, so but what still feels really scary about this near future that is about to happen for you? 

Brooklyn: I mean, I guess just always the unknown of medical things. Mm-hmm. Right now, I mean, I'm relatively stable, I still have some things that I'm dealing with like I have a pressure wound right now that's just been with me for quite a while, and so that's mm-hmm. Probably my biggest thing that I'm dealing with right now. And also. Just chronic pain that I've been experiencing for almost two years. And so, those two things probably give me some of the most stress. Mm-hmm. Just with everything else. And I'm supposed to be getting a spinal stimulator to help with the chronic pain, but because of several different complications and scheduling things that's had to be postponed for now. And [00:48:00] so that has been a big discouragement , I know that it'll happen eventually, but, , i really have a lot of empathy for anyone who just struggles with pain, especially chronic pain 'cause it, really sucks a lot out of your life and it affects all areas of your life. And so that's something that's just giving me a bit more stress than usual.

And then. Probably just besides medical things, just the unknown of everything else, mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm fully confident that Alan and I will be completely fine and he's gonna make a great caregiver, but our relationship hasn't ever been sole caregiver and me, you know? mm-hmm. He's always helped with the things that he can, but obviously this is entering a different territory. More personal, yeah. And things like that. And he knows all the care that I need, but doing it and also me allowing him to do it is different as well.

Something that's always a little bit difficult for me is when I do get [00:49:00] new nurses or new people that are gonna be helping me with my care you have to be so vulnerable. And while I have grown a lot in openness and vulnerability in that way it's still hard when it's somebody who hasn't ever done it before. 'Cause initially I always feel like embarrassed or yeah, shame or I think just kind of that like internalized ableism of man, I should be able to do this by myself. And it's weird that someone else is having to do that. So those are some things that I have to work on and always an adjustment in that way.

And then one more would probably just be career wise. I'm confident that I'll be able to do it eventually, but right now with the schooling , it's like I don't feel like I'll fully be settled or at peace until I've actually gotten into it and like mm-hmm. done clinicals and , gotten my first job and been able to see exactly what that will look like. Mm-hmm. Just because right now it's it's an [00:50:00] idea back there. Yeah. It's hearing and so, yeah. 

Change is always hard, I think, for most people, but especially now after my injury, like any big change is more difficult because for me it takes a lot more to adjust, to change now than it. Had been before, and that's something that I talked to with some other individuals with physical disabilities or just individuals who have had trauma occur is it's just your body and mind handle things a lot differently. And so, the threshold for change, I would say for me is more difficult to walk.

Rhandyl: Yeah. 

Deonna: Yeah, it's, we were talking about this the other day with somebody else even though certain things are coming up in your life that are, on, like at, on the surface, they're good things, right? You're gonna finish school or you're getting married, but like when you've been through trauma.

You freak out or you get very stressed over even fun things like we were talking about how sometimes I have to go take [00:51:00] Allie to a place that's gonna be a fun place so she can scope it out first because she gets nervous. Mm-hmm. Even though it's technically a good thing and it's just our brains are so different than a regular person's brain, I think.

Yes. Because of the trauma and I mean, we know that things. I've talked to people about this, like you and me and Rhandyl and all of our families. We know sometimes things don't go good, don't go well. And that's something I never thought before. All this I'd be like, ah, they're gonna be all right, or that's gonna be fine.

But now I'm like, oh yeah, they may not come outta the hospital, or that might not be mm-hmm. They may have this happen, so I, yeah, like it's just such a hard thing post-trauma to, deal with unknowns. I mean, I can full on have panic attacks. Allie? Yes. Can have full on panic attacks. Oh yeah. All the time. Even the other day she was like, I don't wanna go to school today. I'm depressed. And [00:52:00] I was like, yeah, you probably are, but we're gonna have to go to school, babe, because I know if she pulls out on me, she'll just pull it on me all the time. Uhhuh. Yeah. 

But yeah, it's, the unknown is so scary. I mean, it's, it is, oh my God.

Rhandyl: And I catch myself. Subconsciously avoid thinking about the future. Mm-hmm. Yes. Or if we have something planned, I don't talk about it. I try not to think about it. Mm-hmm. I'm just like, 

Brooklyn: don't wanna jinx it. 

Rhandyl: It's just that superstition. But it, I, I don't know. I just like literally live in the present. Like I have, a schedule that's way to, I have a to-do list, because I mean, I've been there where and I just cannot. But I think it's just something maybe the Lord has. Helped me with to just try to mm-hmm. And sometimes it bites me in the butt. Let's, I'm not gonna lie but

Deonna: I should have planned for that.

Rhandyl: Yeah. But , that's how I cope with mm-hmm. Just life in general, raising my daughter. Mm-hmm. Because anything can [00:53:00] happen at the drop of a dime. Exactly. And all the things that you were excited about or like I even catch myself, I won't even tell my son we're gonna go do this this weekend or even this evening. They don't know what we're doing until we're going to do it. Yeah. Most of the time because I just don't even talk about it. And then I'm like, prepping Remi, on the way to somewhere this is what we're doing, it's gonna be fun or it's not gonna be fun, but we're gonna get through it.

I don't know if it's just because of her unexpected birth and unexpected. Everything unexpected happened that I just will not like. My mom will ask my son things like when we're on FaceTime are you excited to come see me this weekend? And he'll look at me and be like, what? And I'm like, thanks mom. Yeah. Now it's not happen once. If that happens, we'll see. We'll see. Yeah. That's funny. But now

Brooklyn:  I find myself doing that as well, just with different things. Like I don't wanna get my hopes up, but I also don't wanna, think about it and then solidify that in my mind as that's going to happen [00:54:00] and then mm-hmm. You never know. 'Cause an example is whenever I was supposed to graduate high school, the morning of my. Parents woke me up, were getting me ready, and I was just, I was not mentally okay. Something was off, like I, I was not like coherent and mm-hmm. Different things. And so then I had to go to the er, missed my graduation and had a hospital stay.

It was an infection that had gone septic and so 

Deonna: I forgot about that. 

Brooklyn: Now. It's, yes, with different things like that, that have happened, it's like I, I've had to like you said, almost not numb myself to it, but just think about the present. Be thankful for the present. Mm-hmm. Be thankful for this day, this hour, this minute. Mm-hmm. Because we don't know what's to come. No. And like the Lord says we're not promised another sunrise another day. And so just learn you to be thankful for this one. And that's something that I. Really had to try and focus on is just being thankful for the present and [00:55:00] staying in the present.

And so, just 'cause those milestones. I think with individuals who have gone through things like this, or even grief and loss of someone that that has passed and things like that, milestones, while they can be so exciting, it's also like a reminder of this could have been so different.

Mm-hmm. Like I think about my wedding coming up and just I'm not going to walk down the aisle. Mm-hmm. And that hit me the other day and I think that you can be thankful for something, but also still mourn what could have been at the same time. And so, yeah, those milestones are hard and can just hit very differently now that we've experienced these different things.

Deonna: Yeah, man, your dad's gonna be a mess on your wedding day. Yes. Oh my gosh. 

Brooklyn: We are all gonna be in mess, I think. 

Deonna: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Everybody, but oh my goodness. He probably would've been anyways, but yeah, that's gonna be next level. Mm-hmm. 

So that kind of goes into what we were gonna talk about next, like how. Like with [00:56:00] our daughters, like me and Rhandyl's, they rely on us to make them happy. I mean, I'm always like, trying to be funny, trying to be silly. I'm always thinking like, how can I make her happy from one minute to the next? Yeah. I need to be positive and it's do not read down whatever. Yeah. 

But you're obviously older. And I think your parents probably try to make you happy. I'm not saying they don't, but I know they do. But I mean, it's more on you. You're older, so I like to ask a lot of people this who've been through like, any type of trauma or loss or grief or whatever, but what are things you do. To deal with the sadness or I always say what do you do to be okay? Because I know for me, like there's a lot of things I do to be okay. It's, it doesn't just happen on its own. I mean, there's things I do actively and I know Rhandyl's the same way. Yeah. 

What are things you do like on a daily basis to help you be [00:57:00] okay?

Brooklyn: Something that my family and I started at some point at Craig was just at the end of each day, just write down, I think it was five things that we were thankful for that day. Mm-hmm. Just because we were dealing with so much loss and trauma and sadness and things that it was important for us. To try and find those little silver linings and it could be something as small as I had a really good lunch today, . Or it could be something bigger, like I was able to move my arm a little higher, things like that. But so that's something that I, I forget sometimes, a lot of the times probably and could do it more. But I do try and recognize things that I can be thankful for in the moment. Mm-hmm.

Another thing that I have to make myself do sometimes is just to sit and be still and let myself feel. Mm-hmm. Because I think [00:58:00] that going through so many traumatic events and things like that, you can start to numb yourself to 'em and not really feel 'em. But it is important to be able to at least give yourself some moments to grieve, some moments to be sad, some moments to be angry so that, you don't bottle it all up and then mm-hmm. It all come crashing down at some point. And sometimes, regardless of you doing that, it still does Yeah. Come crushing down. But that's something that I've had to literally make myself do is, recognize what I'm feeling and allow myself those moments to feel them. So that I can then focus on, okay, we felt it. What do we do from here? Mm-hmm. 

Another thing is just remembering to breathe. Like when I feel anxiety or a panic attack coming on it's so important just to. Try and just breathe and breathe out. And that in, in of itself is a blessing, just 'cause I know what it feels like to be on a ventilator and not be [00:59:00] able to do that hard myself. It's hard. Yeah. I know that there's other people who struggle with that on a daily. And so, just trying to do that.

And another thing is just relying on friends and family and just those around you. I'll say it over and over again. I'm very blessed to have so many people and , being able to rely on them and just cry with them if I need to, or if I need to just go and hang out with that one friend who can always make me laugh and sometimes it's just a simple thing as distracting myself. Mm-hmm. Sometimes just to make it through the day. Mm-hmm. If something awful has happened, I just, I need to separate myself from that. And just. Try and survive the rest of the day, mm-hmm.

And one thing that my dad has said from the very beginning is just one day at a time. Mm-hmm. And sometimes it's even just, can we do it for this minute? Can we do it for this hour? Mm-hmm. And just trying to focus on that because if I try and look forward at just like years down the road, or [01:00:00] even like next week, sometimes it is just way too overwhelming and so, mm-hmm. It's so important. My family and I try and help each other when we start to do that. It's just, okay, let's take it down a perspective and just can we do it for right now?

So those are some things that I try and do just to be okay. I used to do like journaling and things when I was in the hospital. And that helped because now I can go look back at those journals and things and see how far I've come and, okay, this is what you were going through at that time and you made it through that, so mm-hmm. Let's try and make it through this next thing. Yeah. 

Rhandyl: You're gonna be such a great counselor. 

Deonna: Yeah, I know. I'm like, okay, well I'll go to you. It's fine. Sign us up. . Those are all really good things and I feel like could work for anybody no matter what they're going through. 

Rhandyl: Everyone needs to do that. I myself need to do things like that more. 

Deonna: Yeah, me too. 

Rhandyl: Oh my goodness. Back from reality and just. To be present [01:01:00] with myself, that's, mm-hmm. Yeah, it's hard. 

Deonna: Well, and the part about feeling what you're feeling I'm that person who, if I feel something like a sadness, whether it's with I have ms or if it's Ali's injury and all that, or my brother's death, like something bad will creep up and I'm getting better at being like. I feel sad. I can cry if I have to, or I can feel whatever, but back in the day, I just was like, oh no, I do not have time to mm-hmm. Have this emotion, which is crazy. I mean, but we all do that. We're just like, no, I'm just gonna shove that deep down. And then finally it explodes at some point and you explode on somebody, or you mm-hmm. Have a panic attack, which we've all had, I'm sure. Mm-hmm. And I mean, so,

and out my daughter's therapist, Deanna, told her one time, you're like a volcano and you want that lava just to bubble out a little bit. [01:02:00] Over time, just have these emotions be like, okay, I am sad or whatever. Because she's like, if you don't let it bubble out, it's gonna explode. Mm-hmm. And it's gonna get everybody around you. And I was like, yep. That's a good illustration of that. Mm-hmm. For kid and mm-hmm. For me. 

Brooklyn: Yeah. 

Deonna: My last question for you is just I've thought about this a lot and I think a lot of us put pressure on disabled people to be. Inspirational or to always put on a happy face. Do you ever feel that type of pressure from people and how do you deal with that?

We kind of joke around that new album from Taylor Swift where she says she's a life of a showgirl. Mm-hmm. And Allie, is like, , that feels like me sometimes. I have to just put on this like showgirl face and be a, a big show. Like, I'm fine. And I mean, she's only 10 years old. And so I think about adults who probably get that. I mean, is that something you have [01:03:00] problems with and how do you deal with that? 

Brooklyn: Yeah, I would say that I have definitely felt just the weight of having to be inspirational or having to be, this source of joy and happiness despite all these things that have happened to me. Mm-hmm. But I truly believe that there can be. There can be both. Like you can be thankful and still be distraught in a mm-hmm. In a way. And that's something that I wish more people understood.

Like I think I got a comment online one time that was like, you're alive. You should be grateful for that. And that's that well, yes, you're like, oh yes, I am thankful that I'm alive. It's like, you haven't that, but my life is hard. It's very difficult. Oh gosh. And very different from what mine used to be, and very different from what yours is. So how can you speak on what I should be, thankful for or not? And again I have to remind myself to have [01:04:00] empathy for individuals who have not experienced what I have or, I'm sure that y'all experience the same things and I was probably that oblivious before my injury and i've gained a lot of perspective and been able to see things a lot differently.

And so I have to remind myself that others don't know exactly what I'm going through. They don't know how their comments affect me. They don't know the weight of what it feels to feel like you have to be an inspiration for others when you're just trying to survive and just make it yes. Make it,

Rhandyl: toxic positivity. It's, yes, it's definitely a thing. And that kind of goes into one of the next questions that I wanted to ask you. Speaking, of your high school self just before your accident. What would you say , to that Brooklyn now, if you could go back and say something to her, give her advice , 

Brooklyn: gosh, there's obviously so much, I would probably one, just tell her [01:05:00] to remain faithful to the Lord because mm-hmm. , I truly feel that if I did not , have him and the faith that I have and the hope that I have, I probably would not be here. Mm-hmm. There have been a lot of dark days since my injury and , a lot of despair and so I would say just to remain faithful and when it's hard for you to have faith rely on others to have faith for you. Mm-hmm. And that's something that , my mom has mentioned a lot and that one of her friend groups says if you are lacking in faith right now, we'll have it for you. And oh, I love that. Um, you know, We'll be there to help lift you up and help you stay strong in that.

And another thing would just be, just to take one day at a time. Mm-hmm. Just try and make it through each day. Try not to look too far ahead because that's too much for anyone but the Lord to handle, you know? right. And I would just say to [01:06:00] count your blessings, like there's mm-hmm. So many things yes that have gone wrong, but there's also so many more things that could have gone wrong. And so, just trying to remain thankful and just recognize blessings for what they are and to not be so negative to where you don't even recognize when good things do come around. 

Rhandyl: Yeah. Yeah. That's great advice. 

Deonna: I like what you said about how when you don't think you can do it, let other people 

Rhandyl: Yeah, me too, 

Deonna: kind of be there because mm-hmm. I I don't know if you guys feel this way, but, sometimes when I read different stories about Jesus healing people I'm like, well, good for them, yeah. They got healed. Cool. Mm-hmm. But there's the one where the friends lowered, the paralyzed person down through the roof, and I thought somebody either said something to me about this or something. At one point, I don't think I came up with this thought on my own, but they were basically saying, that paralyzed person. Like their friends are the people [01:07:00] that were, the reason that they got mm-hmm. Close to Jesus like that.

And it was really cool to me because there's been a lot of people in my life, like what you're saying, who have been that type of friend who is willing to climb on the roof for us. Mm-hmm. And do whatever it took. And even if Allie has not been healed in the, way most people wanted, like we have been healed in a different type of way after all the bad things that have happened. But it wouldn't have happened on our own. I mean, there's been a lot of people who've come together for all of us yeah. To make us get closer to Jesus by, lowering us through the roof in a way. So it's, yes, it's so true. And I love that you feel that way. 'cause I mean, it makes me feel good about how our daughters feel. You know about that too. 

Brooklyn: Yeah. I love that you brought up that story because I think of that one often, 'cause I think someone else mentioned it to me as well. Mm-hmm. Just because it says because of [01:08:00] his friend's faith. Yeah. I don't think it mentions anything about his but mm-hmm. His friends.

And this goes for whether you're a religious person or not, like relying on the people that are around you that are willing just to love on you and support you. That's so, so important. And, yeah. Just super crucial. 

Deonna: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for talking to us. I was telling Allie the other day, there's this thing at LCU where you went called Master Follies and it's this fun show that the sororities and fraternities do, and Allie was like, is Brooklyn gonna be in Master Follies? And I was like, no, because she's, too old. She's gone, and Allie's like. well, that sucks. I was like, well, we're still gonna go watch oh my gosh. Yeah. But she would always vote for you. And it was funny 'cause we were in different clubs, me and you when we were there. Mm-hmm. I mean, we were there many years apart, but I'm always like, Allie, are you gonna vote for Kappa? She's like, nah. I was like, okay, well [01:09:00] I see where your loyalties are, whatever girl. But I didn't vote for them either last year, so,

but yeah, she was always voting for you. She loved seeing you up on stage and it was. It was such a cool, inclusive thing, and I just mm-hmm. Loved that you got to do that. I mean, that was such a fun thing for me when I was there. And so, but yeah, she's disappointed. She, you're not gonna be on stage this year. Oh. But I told her you're done with college but thank you so much and let people know how to follow you online if they want to learn more about your story. 

Brooklyn: Yeah. So I'm on Instagram, I'm also on TikTok. Those are kind of the main two right now. I have not been posting a whole lot just because of wedding stuff and grad school, but those are my main ones.

If you look up Brooklyn Boyer, it should come up.

Deonna: Okay. 

Brooklyn: Yeah. If you wanna follow more of my story and things like that, but also my [01:10:00] Facebook that kind of launched. Like how I got so many followers and supporters is called Brooklyn's Walk on Facebook. Yes. And so that's where we do the most of, my medical updates and just my week to week and things like that. Right. But yeah, thank y'all so much for allowing me to talk with y'all and just share my story and be able to be vulnerable. And it's such a blessing to talk with people who have had similar things happen in their life or who have children who have had things like that happen in their life. And I've enjoyed hearing y'all's different perspective. And I really, I look up to Allie as well. She's a really good reminder for me to keep going and things like that. Mm-hmm. So I really appreciate her and love her a whole lot too. 

Rhandyl: Yeah. This conversation's been wonderful for us. Mm-hmm. And I cannot wait for everyone to hear this and just listen to the outlook you have on life. And just, 

Deonna: and some wedding [01:11:00] pictures.

Rhandyl: Yes. Thanks so much, Brooklyn. 

Brooklyn: Thank you.

**Disclaimer

Before we go, I wanna remind our listeners that this podcast is for the purpose of education and entertainment only, and is not a replacement for seeing a doctor. We suggest you seek out the help of a trained professional for help with your child's specific situation.