Deonna: [00:00:00] Hey, y'all. Welcome back to Raising Disabled. So today we're doing something kind of new and different. A couple weeks ago we asked our community online to share Bible verses that have meant a lot to them as parents of disabled children, and we actually got so many responses. We're only gonna do a few this time, and we might do this in the future, ...

and share some more, but we just picked a few this time. But as disability parents, we know what it's like to face uncertainty, to worry about the future, navigate difficult seasons that we did not expect to be coming the anxiety, you know, all the things. And sometimes we need a reminder of what God's word says to us even when we don't feel stable or secure or have everything figured out.

And so today we're gonna read through some of these scriptures [00:01:00] that you guys have shared with us and some from us too- Yeah ... and just talk about what they mean to us and, in some cases what they mean to the people that shared them. And so- yeah ... 

rhandyl, you wanna share the first one?

Rhandyl: Yeah. I kind of first wanted to throw out there that full disclosure, Deonna and I are, are not Bible scholars or ordained- No ... ministers. We are two- 

Deonna: We should become one so we could do people's weddings. 

Rhandyl: Or... Oh, yeah, that... I don't know. That could be fun, but-

Deonna: I would mess that up. 

Rhandyl: We're just two Christian moms raising disabled children and typical children. And like Deonna said, we have faced very difficult circumstances and realities that we never thought that we would face, and have to make so many difficult decisions that no one would ever want to make or think they had to make. And- mm-hmm ... thankfully we both are able to lean on our faith that for both of us was rooted early in life, and I think that has [00:02:00] helped me definitely through- mm-hmm the challenges and battles throughout the last decade or so.

But yeah, I'll start with the first scripture. A little backstory on the majority of the scriptures that we're going to read today are in the Old Testament in various centuries BC. So many of them are referring to the Babylonian exile, one of the most devastating turning points in Israel's history, and they were written during times of severe suffering and uncertainty, displacement, hardships, and they remind us that circumstances didn't mean that God had abandoned them. So that's just kind of an overview of the scriptures- Mm-hmm ... and where they're coming from.

But the first verse was shared by our friend Kami Noble, who was in episode 27 way back in the day. Her and her husband and they talked about their journey raising all of their girls, [00:03:00] and then another also shared the same verse. And their name is Victories in the Valley, and the verse is

Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

So this verse, it reminds us, as much as we think that we're in control of our lives, we are not. We can plan until we are blue in the face, but as we know, they can just blow up in the blink of an eye. 

I mean, after Remi's unexpected journey since birth, I've been faced with the realization that none of my plans as a typical parent would ever come to fruition.

No. That my family will never look like the one that I was raised in. Mm-hmm. And she won't be an independent teenager that leaves [00:04:00] home to figure out life. But that doesn't mean that I'm hopeless about her future or my future as a, quote-unquote, "lifetime caregiver." Mm-hmm. That's hard to wrap our minds around,

but I've just had to change my perspective on hope, yeah over the years. I hope that Remi continues to gradually improve in the years to come because she has gradually improved over the last 10 years. And I have hope that both of my children will grow up knowing that life's never going to be fair because they see it- Mm-hmm every day in and out. It's not ever gonna be fair, and that we have to trust in the word of God because He's the only one that knows our plans.. He's known what our lives are gonna look like from the moment that we were created in our mother's womb, and I feel like that this verse helps my perspective of the future be more positive and hopeful instead of- Yeah focusing on so much [00:05:00] of The unknown. 

Yeah. So what about you? I- How, what did you feel about this verse? 

Deonna: This verse it's been tricky for me. And sometimes a verse is tricky for me for a while, and then I'm- Mm-hmm ... kinda like, "Okay, I get it," but this one, when I read this before all this bad stuff's happened in my life- it was like, "Oh, God's never gonna let anything bad happen to me. He's saying right here I'm gonna prosper, I'm never gonna be harmed, everything's gonna be great." Yeah. And then I started, after it, I was like, "Okay, well, I have been harmed. My kid's been harmed, my, sibling's been harmed.

This is like-" Yeah. This one actually was tough on me for a while. But I think sometimes it's hard 'cause, Christians have hope in heaven, and it's like, and it's not necessarily always an earthly concept. Yeah. And so it's, it is really hard because sometimes, we've talked about this we're gonna have a hard life here on Earth, me and you, and thousands of other parents.

But, we're thinking small sometimes. God [00:06:00] is- Mm-hmm ... always thinking about the larger picture. And there's so many things that happen that at the moment I've told Allie this past week there's things that are happening, you don't understand it, but God is looking at this really big picture that we don't see and we don't understand. Right. And He's not gonna harm you. He's, He does want what's best for you, and your future, and your hope. It may be tough. - It's not like he's- Yeah ... promising you oh, you know, it's gonna be easy.

But yeah, I think it's hard 'cause like you were saying your expectations of what you thought- mm-hmm parenthood was gonna be like, that has not panned out for either one of us. But you just have to think of it more in the big picture, which when you zoom out on our problems, which I've been trying to do even today, but it's tough 'cause you just- Mm-hmm ... get so focused on 'em. But if you zoom out a little bit, it... this verse makes sense to me, so you know it's... This one can be- yeah ... tough on some people. 

Rhandyl: I can see how it would be, when you said , [00:07:00] it meant so much different to you before all of- yeah ... this happened and , that's how scriptures, they are... I mean, you can interpret them so many different ways. Mm-hmm.

Deonna: They change over time to you. And yeah. Yeah. Even though they don't change. 

Rhandyl: Right. But the way- Yeah ... that you understand them and interpret them and study- Mm-hmm ... them more it can go so many directions.

Deonna: Every time you read any scripture, you're a different person reading it in a new way for the first time. You never read the same thing twice and as the same person. I mean, you're changing all the time. Yeah, I can see it. So- Mm-hmm ... you know- Yeah ... that's how a lot of these are gonna be. We're gonna have the before and the after, I think.

But, Mm-hmm ... so another one J Rice Lujan, who's actually commented a lot on our stuff, and then this one was mine too, but it is Isaiah 41:10, and I have this notebook that has every verse that I have to read over and over. Actually got it out this [00:08:00] week and was looking through it because it's like, okay, I'm all right, it's, like, where all my favorites are. But

Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you. Don't, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

And I just I love any verse that talks about him making me stronger or helping me- Mm-hmm ... I hold onto those 'cause, I have MS, which makes me feel super weak and screwed up, like, all the time. But- right ... we physically have a lot to do. Our lives are- ... so hard physically, mentally, emotionally- Oh ... everything. But I mean, I really do think about these even there's times I'm like, "God's gonna give me enough strength to like, get her out of her chair right now. He has to. I have to do this. I'm, here by myself- Yeah, just small- ... or 

Rhandyl: whatever" ... during your daily routine. Yeah. 

Deonna: Yeah. It can be- 

Rhandyl: S- not small stuff, but 

Deonna: I mean- No. But I mean- Yeah ... to other people it might seem that way. God's gonna literally [00:09:00] help you every time you ask for strength. He's gonna get you through that next thing. And- , I like the idea of God being there and just giving us strength 'cause we all need it. It's something I struggle with, feeling super weak, so- 

Rhandyl: Yeah. 

Deonna: We- I mean, that's kinda where my head goes with that one. 

Rhandyl: Yeah. And we get told all the time, "You're so strong." I... Pretty sure we have- Yeah ... a dumb things people say episode on that. But- mm-hmm. Yeah. So for me, there's been countless times over the last 10 years that I've been facing situations that I wouldn't wish on a soul. So, like- mm-hmm ... the feeling of being, , completely out of control, uncertainty- Mm-hmm ... especially in the situations where I don't know if my child's going to live or die through- Yeah ... this moment, those- Yeah ... those very, like, traumatic instances. And I feel in the very beginning I lived in a constant state of overwhelm. Mm-hmm. 

And in this verse, [00:10:00] God promises that he will strengthen and help us during the fearful times in our life. And I know firsthand that in many of these very raw, real, scary situations that I've faced, whenever all I can do is just fall face down into prayer, begging, just sorrow- Mm-hmm. Yeah ... the overwhelm.., I've had this happen a few times where all of the sudden, - I am no longer overwhelmed with this distress that I'm going through or these decisions- Yeah ... that I'm having to make, , He overwhelms me with this sense of peace, and I just, I can't explain that. But- Yeah ... it's happened. And the only way I can explain it is God. I mean- Yeah ... and this is what this verse is going into and what His promise is that He will uphold you and strengthen you and help you when you're in these- And when it's 

Deonna: like the peace that- ... situations ... surpasses understanding, I mean, it's like- Yeah [00:11:00] there is a peace that He can do. And it's, it's funny 'cause we try to like do that ourselves. Mm-hmm. It's not something we can conjure up ourselves. We've all tried, and yeah. But I, do not fear is gonna be repeated a lot, but- ... yeah we have a hard time with that one, 'cause we have actual, real things that happen that are real fears, and they've come true in the past, so we know they can happen again, and it's- Yeah tough.

But even the little part about I'm with you, I like, I tell Allie- ... "god is with you all the time. He never sleeps. He's always awake." Mm-hmm. You can reach out to Him at any moment in life, and y- He's always there, but I think that's- Yeah ... a super important thing to talk to your kids about, that He is there, even if you feel really alone or scared or whatever it is,

Rhandyl: Yeah, I try to tell my son, , when we pray every night he's in that age where he's like, where," "Where is God?" Yeah. He he- he wants to visual. And so it's- I thought you were 

Deonna: saying he was gonna be, like, praying for the [00:12:00] grass and the clouds and all that.

Rhandyl: Oh, he does all that. Yeah. 'Cause that age is fun. For sure. He prays for... Yeah, I mean, he- he's goofy and thanks God for- It's a random list ... potty talk. It's... he'll be like, "Thanks for my poop today," or whatever and he just laughs, and I'm like, "Dude," "Come on." You're like, "Really, though?" I'm like, "Okay, I guess you can think of a better out than in," but- You're... 

Deonna: I'm glad 

you're regular. 

Rhandyl: No, but I think it is so important to teach your kids that early on, that like- Yeah ... you can talk- talk to God about anything, and he'll listen, and he's there, Yeah ... no matter when.

Mm-hmm. 

Yeah. So the next verse was shared by chericad5 and also Rare Mama Reflections.

And the verse is Isaiah 43:1-2. "But now this is what the Lord says, 'He who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by [00:13:00] name. You are mine. You will pass through the waters, and I will be with you. And you will pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. You will walk through the fire, and you will not be burned. The flames will not set you ablaze.'"

So this verse doesn't promise that we will never experience difficult circumstances. I mean- Mm-hmm ... there's so many verses in the Bible- ... that, I mean- Yeah ... . and it promises that God's presence is going to be there in the midst of them.

And, I'm human, and I would be lying if I said that I did not have doubts- Mm-hmm ... in my life, Yeah ... in moments. And I do have moments where I forget that I'm not in control. I mean, we're- mm-hmm ... that's just part of- 

Deonna: 'Cause we like that idea. 

Rhandyl: Yeah, we like the control. I mean- 

Deonna: I don't know why, but we do.

Rhandyl: And I have been mad at God so [00:14:00] many times. I've been down- Mm-hmm ... the whole whiny, why her- Mm-hmm ... sorrow trail. , Sometimes it's not until long after something very difficult has happened that I realize that I didn't just get through it, but it was God that carried me through it. And then I don't even realize it, in the moment.

Mm-hmm. And then you look back and you're like, "Wow," like ... and you're going to go through hard times, but that he will be with you when you do. And - at least for me, there's sometimes that, like I said, in some like really crazy times, there's nothing that I can do but just, fall face first and to prayer. Mm-hmm. But then there's other times where it's not maybe life and death or like these huge medical decisions that I'm having to make for my kid or, you know- Mm-hmm ... whatever that might be, but just hard, crappy times that this life brings us. Mm-hmm. Sometimes , I'll just think, "Oh, I got this," 

and don't even- really give [00:15:00] him the credit until then- Mm-hmm ... looking back on it, it's like, "Oh my gosh," "Hello," like that wasn't all me. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I should have been leaning in a little bit harder on my faith. I mean, I have to be honest about that, and I think , that's human. But we're all guilty of it, Oh, yeah ... trying to do it ourselves or get through something. Mm-hmm. But yeah, that's it's a good reminder. 

Deonna: Yeah I like verses like this that are... I used to skip over verses like this because my life was perfect, and I didn't- You know what I mean? No, yeah. And now I'm like, oh my gosh. But I do like verses that are bringing up the fact that I love the you are mine, first of all. I love- mm-hmm ... you know, verses that talk about how we're essentially Jesus' sibling in a way. So, I mean- Yeah ... I like any verse that makes me feel that connected to s- to God or to Jesus makes me feel really good.

But yeah, I like these verses that are [00:16:00] basically saying "You're gonna go through really bad stuff, and it's gonna be okay." What's hard is I've even realized this lately you like with my brother for example he literally did not survive what happened to him. Mm-hmm. And I was like, "Wait, what?" "I can't believe this." Th- that wasn't supposed to happen or whatever it may be. Sure. 

But... Or Allie didn't get better, and she was supposed to or, whatever. We have a million a, a million- The what ifs and- ... things we could say- mm-hmm ... as a disability community. But we're walking through all this stuff, and it's super, super hard. But I think this is another one of those verses that's literally talking about not necessarily always earthly meanings. It's a little bit- Oh, yeah ... more like a heavenly meaning too.

But I do think there's been so many times, like right now we're going through a really hard time, and I know it's gonna be all right, and my body doesn't know it's gonna be all right, which is really hard. I'm one of those people that massively feels stuff in her body. Dane [00:17:00] doesn't do that. My husband we could be going through the same thing, and he's like, "I'm fine." And I'm like, I'm freaking out internally, which is like- ... I don't know. You said you're like that too. I'm like, "My stomach- Yeah hurts this." 

Rhandyl: Oh, yeah. But I know- Anxiety through the roof ... 

Deonna: my faith knows that I'm gonna be okay through this tough time. My body needs to quit keeping the score- ... and catch up to the, whatever. But I do feel like these types of verses connect a lot of us who've been through bad stuff. We are being- Mm-hmm ... promised that it's gonna be okay. It's been okay for people before. Like- We... Like I was telling my son the other day, I'm like, "Name one Bible character that had an easy road." Like- 

Rhandyl: For real ... 

Deonna: you can't. No. They all had something tough, I mean, it's like, and so it makes me feel connected to all those people when you think about what they went through and that they now are, you know- yeah I mean, I'm not gonna be like Moses or anything, but you know, like there's even- ... a verse [00:18:00] in James where it says something like, "Elijah was a man just like you." So it's like- yeah ... in some ways they're just like us, and they're, they went through tough stuff, and we are gonna be okay, but yeah, 

Rhandyl: I like that one. Yeah, I like how you said you used to skip through verses like this. I mean, I was the same way. I was like, "Oh, you know- 

Deonna: Ooh, other people ... 

Rhandyl: just... oh, that's gonna happen to other people," like- 

Deonna: Yeah ... 'cause, yeah. I'm blessed. 

Rhandyl: I , I was blessed with a w- wonderful childhood and- mm-hmm. Me too ... early adulthood and I was so, in this bubble of, like- Mm-hmm ... just obliviousness,

Deonna: Yeah ... 

Rhandyl: that I couldn't- Which is great for us, but- ... comprehend or relate to these verses like this. And now- yeah ... I feel like they are so much more meaningful- They're like- ... and understood- Yeah and it's what w- what I lean on the most. Yeah. So. 

Deonna: Connection to other people too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

Yeah. So the next one is Daniel 2:20 verses 22, and this [00:19:00] was sent in by Jessalyn Ray, and she said this was actually during her kid's NICU stay, something she would come back to a lot 'cause she had a lot of questions.

And we all know- Yeah. I don't know how a NICU stay is, but I know how a PICU stay is, so it's- Yeah. We all have had a fun moment- Oh, same feelings. ... like this. Even if you've never had a long hospitalization, if you have a disabled kid, the beginning or whenever that happens, it's bad. It's just really hard. But she- Trenches ...

she wanted to talk about Daniel 2, and she says, "Praise be to the name of God forever and ever. Wisdom and power are His. He changes times and seasons. He deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things. He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him."

So- I had never really thought [00:20:00] about this verse before. I actually had to go kinda look into it- Yeah ... 'cause I was like, "Okay, what are we talking about here?" Right. But- mm-hmm ... we all are searching for wisdom and answers and to know why certain things are happening or what is even happening. Like you with an undiagnosed- Yeah ... child who has severe medical disabilities, you may never know what's going on, and it's a tough thing.

But I think this kind of is one of those verses... There's a lot of verses like this that remind you that God knows a whole lot more than we do. And- ... he's... we don't have to know everything. One of my favorite kinda unrelated verses, it's in Job, but it's where his friends are talking to him, and then God's talking to him in the... kind of at the end. And he's basically saying God's saying to Job like, "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the Earth?" Mm-hmm. Or, "Where were you when, like- Mm-hmm ... I put the snow in the [00:21:00] storehouses?" He's basically saying "You don't know anything." But, yeah ... it kind of is so true.

We think we're so smart and our lives are so big and we know all this stuff, but, sometimes these verses remind us God's taking care of the big picture, and we- Yeah it's okay to not know the next step. That's something I needed to hear this week. So it's, I think this is a really good one for that reason. 

Rhandyl: Yeah. As I read the scripture, I tried to think back to when Remi had her long hospitalization and we were in Houston- Mm-hmm for 15 months, and the unknown. It was the most confusing time in my entire life. No idea- sickening ... what I was doing. Yeah. And I had to trust that the medical staff knew what they were doing, and that the countless machines that were keeping Remi alive would- yeah ... continue to sustain her. I mean, that season was eye-opening for my faith, and it was, like, the first [00:22:00] time in- 

Deonna: Yeah. Make or break ... 

Rhandyl: in 28 years, yeah, that I had tr- fully felt like the true meaning of faith. It was just such a dark time. And we had thousands of people praying for us during this time. 

Deonna: Oh, yeah. 

Rhandyl: And I felt that whenever I couldn't pray myself, when I couldn't find the words to say, and honestly, when I didn't think that my prayers were being heard. I mean, it was just dark. And- 

Deonna: It was. 

Rhandyl: Yeah. And we were lifted up with so much prayer during those times. Even when I couldn't pray for myself, I knew that there were thousands of people out there praying for me- Mm-hmm ... and my daughter and our family. And I mean, it was an overwhelming sense of- Mm-hmm light in the darkness, kind of coming out of it, okay, And I really felt these prayers, like sometimes- Oh, you do, for real I felt this so much. And for those that listen that are still following our story and have been praying, I'll [00:23:00] have pe- people are like, "Oh, she's still on my prayer list."

It's been 10 years. It's just I'm so grateful for all of you guys that have- Mm-hmm ... lifted us up during those times. I mean, because there were so many times there was no words other than like- 

Deonna: Help, help ... why? 

Rhandyl: Help, help. Like- yeah ... make this stop.

Deonna: Have you seen that video- Oh where it said "My prayer life after raising a disabled kid" or something? Yes. And it's Tom Hanks screaming, "Help," from Cast Away. 

Rhandyl: From cast Away, yes. 

Deonna: I was like, "That's the most true- Yes ... thing I've ever seen." I'm always like, "Oh my gosh, help me." I say these really repetitive prayers all the time. Mm-hmm. And it's just kinda funny, but they're not pretty. They're not something you're gonna get up in front of- No ... everybody and say, but- eh. 

I know what you're talking about, all the people praying for you, 'cause that w- was our- Man ... same experience. And I mean, there were times I'm like, "I should be face down on the ground outside." "I can't do this," and then you'd have all these people texting you w- and it was overwhelming, like you said. But even in [00:24:00] James it says the, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective," and it was. Mm-hmm. I mean, it was like, d- did it end up the way people were praying? I don't know. Probably not. Yeah. But they were just praying for anything to happen that was good, and I mean, a lot of good things came out of that, and it's the same with you, and it's, it's okay.

But yeah, I mean, that's huge, and it's calling on God to use his wisdom for what's best, 'cause we don't know. That's what this- Right ... verse is about. We don't know. Yeah. But- mm-hmm ... yeah I like that one. I was like, "Gonna have to add that to my list." 

Rhandyl: Yeah. I love that you have a, like a notebook with your verses. I'm gonna have to- It's super helpful ... steal that idea. 

Deonna: Especially when I'm crashing out which is all the time. Oh, man. 

Rhandyl: Oh, gosh. Okay, the next verse was sent in by Brittany Karina, and it's Psalms 56:8 You have taken account [00:25:00] of my miseries, put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

And this is a beautiful reminder that God sees our sorrow, and talk about the tears that other people don't see, the emotional weight of disability parenting, and the comfort- Yes of knowing that our hardest moments are, they matter to God. So- mm-hmm. 

Yeah ... i've talked about a lot of hurdles outwardly, obviously, we've had this podcast for a few years now. Yeah. That I've found reliance in my faith in God, but we have so many internal struggles each day, like you were talking about. It's almost, sometimes it's almost numbing. It becomes our normal. 

Deonna: Yeah. Yeah, it's like a survival mode forever. 

Rhandyl: Like that feeling of, yeah that feeling of... Like sometimes I'm like, "Why do I feel like this?" And I'm like, oh my gosh- Mm-hmm ... i'm on the verge of a panic attack, and I'm just, it- Mm-hmm sometimes you, I'm just so used to it that it does [00:26:00] become numb and it comes our normal. Yeah. But I also come from a place of I don't want people to pity my life. 

Deonna: Me neither ... 

Rhandyl: so I'm not always honest about how hard things are all the time. Not w- just in daily conversation, like nobody wants to hear- oh yeah. But so you just put on a happy face and go about your day. Mm-hmm. But internally we're sad a lot. And- Mm-hmm ... the what I take out of this verse is God knows this. He is the one that I feel the most comfortable complaining to, which I think- Oh, yeah ... is okay. Yeah. 

Deonna: I have no problem with that. I

Rhandyl: mean... Yeah. And like we've talked about in previous episodes, used to, you would think you shouldn't, like, all your prayers needed to be flowery and like, but he- Yeah ... it's like he already knows. So sometimes I let him have it because- Oh, yeah. Me too ... I know he can take it. And- Mm-hmm

that he completely understands my struggles. And so, it, anyone that- just wants to [00:27:00] vent.

Deonna: Mm-hmm ... if 

Rhandyl: you don't have that, a person or the, someone not right, I mean, oh my gosh, just give it all to him because he, like this says, he sees your tears in the darkness. And- 

Deonna: Yeah ... 

Rhandyl: he has taken into account, he knows,

Deonna: Yeah

Rhandyl: all of your struggles and miseries, and- 

Deonna: I- 

Rhandyl: Yeah, so 

Deonna: that's- I like this. I like this verse. My Aunt Donna, after my brother died, my Aunt Donna took all these vintage bottles. And she put this verse on bottles for us, and it was kind of like a reminder, which of course I put a plant in it, 'cause, that's me.

But, ... it was kinda just a reminder God knows every tear you cry, because I'm actually not a big crier. I've cried some this week, but I don't- ... like to cry. It's just, it actually- Yeah ... made me feel a lot better. I'm like, "Man, I should start doing this more often." But, like- it's just cool ... 'Cause we're so proud. I know you're proud. I'm proud. We don't want [00:28:00] people seeing us not doing well, because that's not the image we like to project. We want- Right ... to seem tough. We're both like this. I know a lot of other moms are like this. Yeah. And even though we're, like, honest and vulnerable we're not like, "Oh, look at me.

I'm gonna start crying in front of you." That's not our vibes. And so- No ... I do like how God, liter- It's almost like, you know the verse about, like, how your hairs on your head are numbered? Mm-hmm. To me, that's kind of how this one makes me feel. It's like- Yeah ... he knows every- The tears

drop of tears. And so I love this one. This is a good one. 

Rhandyl: Yeah. 

Deonna: I love me some Psalms. I've been listening to Psalms 24/7- Oh, yeah ... lately. Makes you feel good. Makes you realize how messed up David was and how crazy he was sometimes. Yeah . Oh my goodness. The next one is from Michelle Dorsett, and it is John 14:27, and it's, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you.

I [00:29:00] do- I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and don't be afraid." So back to the do not fear thing. Mm-hmm. W- the thing about this one is He's trying to give you peace, and sometimes I don't accept it. It's like He's literally- Mm-hmm ... over and over trying to give me peace or to give me help or, whatever the case may be and the world doesn't give us that much.

It, He can give us so much more than what the world can give. But you have to kinda have your eyes open to it, I feel like. Like- Yeah ... even this week my mom's like, "Hey, Do you want me to come help you?" And at first I was like, "No," and then all of a sudden I was like, "Yeah, I actually do want you to come help me."

Mm-hmm. And she came and helped me. I need 

Rhandyl: you, Mom. 

Deonna: I know. I was like, "Oh." But- ... like, why was I being stubborn and proud with my mom? Who cares? Like, She doesn't care. But- She already 

Rhandyl: knew you needed her. She shouldn't have even 

Deonna: asked.

Oh, yeah, she knew. She knows you. She probably would've came even if I said no.

[00:30:00] But- Aw ... god is trying to give us peace and help, and you just have to kind of have your eyes open to it, I feel like. 'Cause I get real, like- 

Rhandyl: Yeah ... 

Deonna: I don't know tunnel vision. I'm like, "Oh, I have- Mm-hmm ... to do all this on my own." That's not what that's not- Yeah ... what He says ever, 

Rhandyl: yeah. That's been a huge struggle for me, and over the last, just a, I don't know, a few years have I been able to kinda step back and really let people help me if I can. And, Yeah ... I try not to micromanage so much, but- So I was- It's hard ... I... This was one of the, one of two, I think, verses that we're gonna talk about that are actually in the New Testament.

And this is what Jesus- Oh, yeah ... is telling his disciples right before his crucifixion at the Last Supper. This is the verse that He's telling them, He knew that He was gonna be leaving them, and so He tells them these things because He knew that they were about to face confusion, grief, [00:31:00] fear, uncertainty- And their 

Deonna: own 

Rhandyl: deaths-

Deonna: themselves ... and things 

Rhandyl: like that. Right. Yeah. And so I- When I was really contemplating the scripture, I had to, I wanted to put it in that perspective. And- 

Deonna: Mm-hmm. That's true ... 

Rhandyl: like I mentioned earlier, so sometimes I'm overwhelmed with peace in life sometimes, and it's hard to explain. But- after Remi we still, like you mentioned earlier, we still don't have a diagnosis for Remi's- Mm-hmm ... disabilities. And for a lot of people, that would be agonizing. I know- Yeah ... a lot of people that is their l- life's mission is to find- Yep ... figure out- What's wrong ... what is wrong and how we can fix it.

And- 

Deonna: Mm-hmm ... 

Rhandyl: over the years, for me at least, being, her being undiagnosed is almost comforting. I know that's weird to say, but- 

Deonna: No, I know what 

Rhandyl: you're saying ... it gives me, it kinda gives me hope that, as time goes on, that she'll just continue to thrive [00:32:00] the way that God intends, like she has been.

Mm-hmm. And that I don't feel the- 

Deonna: Sometimes 

Rhandyl: answers 

Deonna: are bad. ... 

Rhandyl: need... Yeah, exactly. Trust me. Exactly. Yeah. So, only God knows. So I just choose not to be troubled with the- Mm-hmm ... unknown and just trust in him. And then once I kind of got over that, in a sense, and really just prayed about it, then it has given me such a sense of peace.

It's not that we're not going to continue to help her and get her in with- 

Deonna: Yeah ... 

Rhandyl: geneticists and try to do all of these things. But- You're 

Deonna: still being a good- The fact- ... mom and trying ... 

Rhandyl: that- 

Deonna: Yeah ... 

Rhandyl: well, of course. But the fact that it's just not an over- I'm not overwhelmed or sad or troubled by the fact that she is undiagnosed anymore.

Yeah. 

Deonna: So- Well, and it talks about- 

Rhandyl: I kind of- ... 

Deonna: how peace will guard your hearts. I mean, it's like- 

Rhandyl: Yeah ... 

Deonna: the peace you guys have is guarding your hearts from becoming obsessed- Exactly ... over that or whatever. [00:33:00] Yeah. 

Rhandyl: And so I really, when it comes to this part of our journey, that verse really it's very relatable in, to that scenario for me, for sure.

Deonna: Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

Rhandyl: The next verse I shared I shared a lot of them, but this one's Lamentations 3:22 through 23. It says, "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." And of course, I love the song that g- that's,

Deonna: Oh, yeah

Rhandyl: written after this. The hymn. Old hymn. Yeah, the hymn. Yeah. Love it. But- obviously some days are gonna feel harder than others, like you know recently. Mm-hmm. And sometimes just getting through one day is an accomplishment. But the new mercies every morning I love that piece of the scripture. Mm-hmm. Mercy means that you're not [00:34:00] beyond God's compassion, and that your struggles don't mean that you have to stop turning toward him.

Yesterday's difficulties do not have to dictate how you approach today, mm-hmm. So just living in the present, God can- Remain faithful even when your situation hasn't changed. So- 

Deonna: Mm-hmm ... 

Rhandyl: I mean, you can be honest- Yeah ... you can be honest about your pain without surrendering your hope. This is kind of- yeah

what we've been talking about this whole time.

Deonna: No, I 

Rhandyl: know what you're saying. I've talked about in the, I've talked about in a lot of episodes. But - it always comes up, I feel like, but I subconsciously, I don't know, I don't focus on the future, and sometimes it's to a fault.

I've said that a lot, but I'm- 

Deonna: I noticed some of your scriptures- I am- ... you shared had that same- Yes ... like theme. Yes. Like they're all very like today, present, do not worry about tomorrow.

Rhandyl: Yes. 

Deonna: I was like, "This is so her- That is me ... because like that's 

Rhandyl: what you 

Deonna: talk 

Rhandyl: about a lot." Yeah, and I am definitely very [00:35:00] much a here and now present tense person.

Deonna: Mm-hmm. 

Rhandyl: I don't know if I've honestly always been that way, but I feel like I notice it more now- Yeah ... or talk through that. And I think that maybe it's not only like a subconscious protective instinct for like PTSD, but

Deonna: Yeah ... 

Rhandyl: I also might consider it a gift from God. I- I 

Deonna: think 

Rhandyl: it 

Deonna: is ... 

Rhandyl: I'm not consumed with the future, and every day is a new day.

That's how I try to focus on life. And, like I said, sometimes it bites me in the butt, but- Well, 

Deonna: that's a better way to live 'cause I get consumed by things that are coming up even like a year from now. And then it's stealing the joy that I could have had right now 'cause I'm so consumed by, this or that from, you know- Yeah

nine months from now or whatever. Mm. And it's, it's so stupid, but like that's just how my brain's always worked. Like all ... My parents all the time were like, "Oh my gosh," like growing up. And it's the same today. But it's [00:36:00] just like I was always thinking about what was coming next. So I think it's good to remember that.

Like I even told Allie, 'cause we had just read this like a day or so ago, like I had read this. Mm-hmm. And then I was telling Allie "Today was hard. Tomorrow, God lets us start over all over again. So, so let's just, let's try to be okay today." "And well, tomorrow we're gonna get a new shot at the day, and we're gonna be okay, and we'll try this again."

But yeah I love that, the every day new chances. Yeah, 

Rhandyl: me too. Except on the sleepless nights, I'm like, "Dang it, it's morning again," 

Deonna: But- Yeah. Oh, I know. The other day I sent my parents... I couldn't sleep very good. I sent my parents this video of this person like realizing they had been laying awake essentially all night, and he just starts- Oh, yeah

throwing his pillow- ... and like banging on the bed and screaming. And I was like, "This is me." But it was funny. So our last one we're gonna do for this time, and like I said, if you shared one with us if we didn't talk [00:37:00] about it this time, we may save some of these and do it again in the future- Yeah

if you guys- I was so happy ... enjoy this. Yeah, I was so happy about it. 'Cause we got so many good ones. I- Yeah ... it was actually really good for me to read through them, 'cause I was like, you know- Yeah ... those like spiraling moments, and I just thought- ... "Okay, let's get recentered. Calm down." But this last one is from Victories in the Valley.

I think several people actually said this one, but Romans 8:28, which we all- ... know this one, but it says, "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who've been called according to his purpose." And this is almost the same as the other one... Where is it at?

From the beginning, where we were talking about plans to prosper you, not to harm you, I think. 

Rhandyl: Yes. Mm-hmm. 

Deonna: Because I read it and I used to think that Romans 8:28 was like the same thing I was saying a minute ago "Oh, God's never gonna let anything bad happen to me, 'cause I love him, so we're good to go," and yay.

Rhandyl: [00:38:00] Yeah. 

Deonna: But that is not... That's once again- ... not what this means, but I think that it's tough, 'cause there's things sometimes where... Like I've told Allie just in the last week, I'm like, I wouldn't change our perspective on life. I would definitely take Allie's disability away and make her be able to run around and do what she wants," and I mean, I would in a heartbeat.

Oh, yeah. I would change back no duh, obviously. 

Rhandyl: Yeah. 

Deonna: But I was like, there's things about what's happened that have made your life more powerful and my life more powerful, and the good things have came out of this." It's tough- Yeah ... because we have to suffer through some of that. But I've actually had a lot of people when Allie first got hurt, they were like, "Well, Romans 8:28, she's gonna be- fine. She is gonna be fine 'cause..." And I'm like, "Okay, that is not what that means." [00:39:00] But,

Rhandyl: Yes ... 

Deonna: you know, we've, we've all been called according to his purpose, and his- Yeah ... purpose is not necessarily all easy roads. Like we, we literally talked earlier about like the, passing through rivers and fire and flames- Yeah

and all this stuff. So I mean, yeah, this is another one of those that's tough sometimes, because the good that I think- other people are getting is different than us. And it's- Mm-hmm ... hard 'cause some people have an easy life, and we don't. But- Yeah ... I think that we're impacting people for Christ in a way that we never could have with this stuff hadn't happened to us.

So, you know- I agree ... it's that big picture thing again. But it's- 

Rhandyl: Yeah ... 

Deonna: not easy. It is not easy. 

Rhandyl: Well, no. And like you said, I mean, I feel like the rose-colored glasses are definitely off, and- Been shattered. ... I see so [00:40:00] much clearer. But I like to- 

Deonna: Mm-hmm ... 

Rhandyl: I, , when I read the scripture now of course, I think of it in a perspective for me, myself.

But i- I like to kinda flip it and- It says, those who trust in him, you have been called according to his purpose. And our- 

Deonna: Yeah ... 

Rhandyl: disabled daughters, Remi and Allie, they have their disabilities. Yeah. Allie had her injury. Remi was born th- this way.

They have a purpose, and I cannot tell you how many times I have witnessed just the love that people have for my daughter. Mm-hmm it's so crazy, like the, the longer that she's alive and the more people that we meet or people that I don't have a clue who they are come up to me and they're like- 

Deonna: Yeah

Rhandyl: "Oh my gosh, you're Remi's [00:41:00] mom. Like she's like the sweetest, she has like the, the brightest light." Even though she- Mm-hmm ... she can't verbalize much or, but she's just, she has this, I don't know, it's this, it's a Christ-like light and- Mm-hmm ... I really feel like so many disabled kids obviously God has a purpose for them in this life.

Deonna: Yeah. 

Rhandyl: And I like to lean on this verse in that sense- Mm-hmm ... as well, Oh, for sure ... because it is, it has been so clear to me in so many I could s- be, stay so focused on, why her, why us, but there's been so many- Oh, yeah ... blessings that have came out of her disability. I don't have the same perspective.

If someone gave me the choice, like I have no idea, like I wouldn't even have the same- 

Deonna: No, it's 

Rhandyl: different ... kid. So- 

Deonna: Yeah ... 

Rhandyl: but would I like- 

Deonna: Well, and really, I wouldn't either. 

Rhandyl: It w- It's- Would I change- ... 

Deonna: so different ... 

Rhandyl: [00:42:00] the, the fact that she is so fragile in s- these moments and things? Yes- Mm-hmm ... of course, 

Deonna: but, 

Rhandyl: Let's 

Deonna: cut the respiratory 

Rhandyl: issues 

Deonna: out- That's not our thing ... and then we'll... 

Rhandyl: yeah. No, but- 

Deonna: Get rid of all that ... 

Rhandyl: like Deonna was saying, we have, we had a lot of people. I was so excited, all the comments. I really was... A lot of times when we do these question posts, I, we don't get a lot, we don't get a ton of feedback sometimes, and I was like, "Oh- I was surprised

no about this verse one," but man. 

Deonna: Yeah. 

Rhandyl: I was so excited when I was like getting all these notifications. I was like, "This is great."

Deonna: Yeah ... 

Rhandyl: so hopefully if this one works out, then we will do a few more here and there.

So as we wrap up, I'm just hoping that taking all of these verses and all of our comments about them and what other people said and posted, I hope that we can, all come to the realization that some things that stand out [00:43:00] in this episode is that hope doesn't mean that we always know what's going to happen, and peace doesn't mean that life is easy, and trusting God doesn't mean that we never have questions.

And these verses remind us that God is present in our uncertainty, and that he sees our tears, and that his faithfulness isn't dependent on whether we have everything figured out- Mm-hmm ... 'cause we will never have everything- Never ... figured out. 

Deonna: Ever. 

Rhandyl: Yeah, so just thank you so much to all of our listeners, our community, followers, and your stories of faith, and that makes this community so special and so much better.

**Disclaimer

Before we go, I wanna remind our listeners that this podcast is for the purpose of education and entertainment only, and is not a replacement for seeing a doctor. We suggest you seek out the help of a trained professional for help with your child's specific situation.